<Sax> Victor's in the commons.
<Sax> Enjoying a coffee.
<Sax> d10 Coffee quality
<Glacon> Sax: Coffee quality: 2 (d10=2)
<Sax> … this coffee is shit :/
<Nanoro> You choke on the coffee.
<JamJam66> (Wut)
<Sax> He violently spits it out.
<Sax> "Dafuq."
<Nanoro> Meanwhile in the cafeteria, the coffee machine gurgles maliciously. It almost sounds like mischievous laughter.
<Sax> That coffee machine is going to get sent to engServs later.
<Sax> It will not be a good night for that machine.
<Sax> He goes down and reads a magazine.
<JamJam66> George storms into commons and flings himself into a chairm
<Sax> He then lights up a cigarette to pass the time.
<Sax> d10 Smoke?
<Glacon> Sax: Smoke?: 8 (d10=8)
<JamJam66> *chair.
<Sax> It's a good smoke.
<JamJam66> ~And I still haven't had dinner!~
<Sax> "You looked miffed."
<JamJam66> "I choked. Three times."
<JamJam66> "In a row."
<JamJam66> "And I'm hungry."
<Sax> "Speaking of which, my coffee tasted like piss earlier."
<JamJam66> "That… that's what the water was like."
<Sax> "… perhaps we should check out the cafeteria."
<Sax> "See if anyone's tampered with the water."
<JamJam66> "Yes. That's a good idea."
<JamJam66> George heads to the cafeteria.
<Sax> Victor gets up, making his way to the cafeteria, tools in tow.
<TesKin> Branko smokes in Commons, totally not paying attention to the dieing people in the Cafeteria.
<JamJam66> TesKin roll a d10
<Wixelt> Roll not to choke on your cigar Branko.
<TesKin> d10 (Fuck you guys, I didn't want to be a part of this)
<Glacon> TesKin: (Fuck you guys, I didn't want to be a part of this): 5 (d10=5)
<TesKin> He does not choke.
<JamJam66> George is in his room. He drinks water from the tap.
<JamJam66> d10
<Glacon> JamJam66: 2 (d10=2)
<JamJam66> He chokes
<JamJam66> He manages to cough out the water.
<JamJam66> "Well that failed. Something is up."
<LemurLord> (what was your first clue?)
<JamJam66> (Ha ha)
<JamJam66> (He was checking if it was cafeteria exclusive)
<JamJam66> (It's not)
<JamJam66> He heads back to the cafeteria.
<DiePotato> Artyom nods to George when he enters. He's sipping water and twirling a knife. Boredom is obvious
<JamJam66> George nods back to Artyom.
<JamJam66> *nod*
<JamJam66> George finishes up his coffee and heads to commons.
<DiePotato> Artyom just sits and sips
<DiePotato> And twirls
<Wixelt> Wilson eats a bagel in the cafeteria
<Wixelt> d10
<Glacon> Wixelt: 2 (d10=2)
<Wixelt> He chokes on in
<Wixelt> *it
<Wixelt> "Gak-"
<DiePotato> Artyom nods to-oh shit
<DiePotato> Artyom strolls to Wilson and hits him in the back
<DiePotato> 4df+6 BREATHE
<Glacon> DiePotato: BREATHE: 9 (4df+6=+, +, +, 0)
<JamJam66> George walks into the cafeteria to get dinner.
<DiePotato> He'll see Artyom hitting Wilson with no explanation
<JamJam66> "You need help?" He walks over, at a brisk pace.
<Wixelt> Wilson coughs up chunks of bagel
<Wixelt> You hit him on the back so hard that he is winded and passes out on the table.
<DiePotato> "Shit"
<DiePotato> Artyom looks down at the unconscious Wilson
<JamJam66> George goes over to check if he's okay.
<JamJam66> Is he?
<Wixelt> Yes, he's just unconsicious
<JamJam66> "He'll be fine. He just needs to eat slower."
<DiePotato> Artyom looks at George with a face of :|
<JamJam66> George shrugs and goes to get some pie.
<JamJam66> d10
<Glacon> JamJam66: 2 (d10=2)
<DiePotato> Artyom shrugs too
<Nanoro> You choke on the pie.
<JamJam66> ~Fuck~
<DiePotato> Artyom strolls over and hits George in the back
<DiePotato> 4df+6 BREATHE 2.0
<Glacon> DiePotato: BREATHE 2.0: 5 (4df+6=-, 0, +, -)
<JamJam66> George coughs it back up. "I feel very stupid right now."
<JamJam66> "Thank you."
<DiePotato> Artyom nods. "At least you're awake"
<Wixelt> Wilson remains unmoving.
<JamJam66> "Ha, yeah."
<DiePotato> Artyom goes over to Wilson and pokes him
<DiePotato> Poke
<JamJam66> He goes back to the pie.
<JamJam66> d10
<Glacon> JamJam66: 3 (d10=3)
<JamJam66> FUCK
<Nanoro> … Guess twice what happens. :P
<JamJam66> George flails
<JamJam66> He waves frantically at Artyom
<DiePotato> Artyom strolls over AGAIN to George sighing
<DiePotato> 4df+6 BREATHE 3.0
<Glacon> DiePotato: BREATHE 3.0: 9 (4df+6=+, +, 0, +)
<JamJam66> George is knocked out, but survives.
<JamJam66> He slowly comes to
<DiePotato> Artyom looks down at the George
<JamJam66> ".
<JamJam66> "… fucking hell I feel dumb."
<JamJam66> "I need a drink."
<JamJam66> He gets up, shakes his head, and gets a glass of water.
<JamJam66> d10
<Glacon> JamJam66: 3 (d10=3)
<Sax> The water tastes like concentrated horse piss.
<Sax> You choke.
<JamJam66> George retches and spits it out.
<DiePotato> Artyom hears another choke
<JamJam66> "Alright, that's it! I give up!"
<DiePotato> 4df+6 UNEEDED BREATHE
<Glacon> DiePotato: UNEEDED BREATHE: 5 (4df+6=-, +, -, 0)
<JamJam66> He marches out of the cafeteria into commons
<DiePotato> redact
<DiePotato> Artyom shrugs and picks up the pie George was eating
<DiePotato> d10
<Glacon> DiePotato: 1 (d10=1)
<Sax> It's so bad, it gives you a heart attack.
<DiePotato> Artyom falls to the floor grasping his chest
<Sax> My God, it was like a combination of the most moist sharts, the narliest boxers, fermented in a soup of maggots and hog piss…
<DiePotato> He tries to say something
<DiePotato> "H-h-hel-help"
<Wixelt> Wilson slowly comes to
<Wixelt> "Wah…"
<DiePotato> He'll see a writhing Artyom
<Wixelt> He frowns a little.
<DiePotato> Clutching his chest
<Wixelt> "You ok?"
<Sax> There is pie nearby.
<DiePotato> Holy shit Artyom doesn't look good
<Wixelt> Wilson looks at the pie, then at Artyom
<DiePotato> "H-help"
<JamJam66> George walks in.
<Sax> Victor walks in.
<Wixelt> He gets up and moves quickly over to Arty
<Nanoro> Wilson, he is literally havin a heart attack.
<JamJam66> "Oh fuck no."
<Sax> "…"
<JamJam66> George runs over to help
<Nanoro> *having
<Wixelt> 4df+1 Medical, better than nothing, right?
<Glacon> Wixelt: Medical, better than nothing, right?: -1 (4df+1=-, 0, -, 0)
<DiePotato> Artyom looks like a flailing snake
<DiePotato> (NOOO ITS NOT)
<Sax> You make the heart attack worse.
<JamJam66> 4df+9 Stabalise him!
<Glacon> JamJam66: Stabalise him!: 8 (4df+9=+, 0, -, -)
<Nanoro> Wixelt, you almost break one of his ribs trying to help.
<JamJam66> "We need to get you to medical ASAP. Wilson, try not to make it worse."
<JamJam66> "Help me get him over there!"
<Sax> Victor, not good with medical shit, goes on to explore who fucked with the food and water.
<DiePotato> Artyom is dying of a heart attack at 33
<DiePotato> Holy shit
<JamJam66> George carries Artyom to medical. With Wilson helping hopefully.
<DiePotato> ~why me~
<Sax> Victor enters the kitchen, and begins snooping around.
<Wixelt> Wilson helps
<Wixelt> Well, with the lifting anyway
<Sax> Victor checks out the pie.
<Sax> d10 Smelling test
<Glacon> Sax: Smelling test: 6 (d10=6)
<Sax> … it smells… decent.
<Sax> Against all odds, he tastes a bit of it…
<Sax> d10
<Glacon> Sax: 4 (d10=4)
<Nanoro> The coffee machine blubs questioningly.
<Sax> … it's not the best of pies.
<Nanoro> Even though it is supposedly an inanimate object, it seems curious as to what seems to be causing all this commotion in /it's/ domain.
<JamJam66> George walks in. "Find anything?:
<JamJam66> *"
<JamJam66> "Anyway, I need a strong drink." He gets a whiskey and purs himself a glass.
<Sax> "Pie's not the greatest, but nothing."
<JamJam66> *pours
<Sax> "Pass me some?"
<JamJam66> He does so.
<JamJam66> d10
<Glacon> JamJam66: 5 (d10=5)
<JamJam66> It's okay. He doesn't choke, at least.
<Sax> d10
<Glacon> Sax: 3 (d10=3)
<Sax> … he's close to choking.
<Sax> "Gah!"
<Nanoro> The coffee machine boils menacingly. It disapproves of the fact that something other than itself is terrorizing the cafeteria.
<JamJam66> "Oh for fuck's sake…"
<Sax> "Fuckin' hell!"
<JamJam66> George laughs.
<Sax> He goes for a glass of water.
<Sax> d10 Oh Gods help me now
<Glacon> Sax: Oh Gods help me now: 4 (d10=4)
<Nanoro> Tastes like shit.
<Sax> It's not much better, but better than the shitcohol.
<Nanoro> Literally.
<Nanoro> But still, doesn't choke you from the inside at least.
<Sax> ~HHHNNNNGGGGGHHHHHHHHH~
<JamJam66> "I think that this needs to be looked into. There's no way this is normal."
<Sax> "Yeah…"
<Sax> He goes over to the sink and wipes his tongue off violently.
<TheRaven> Will heads to the cafeteria
<Nanoro> The coffee machine feels an ill presence. Given that it itself is an ill presence, that does not bode well.
<JamJam66> George nods to him as he enters. "Try not to choke!"
<JamJam66> *stomach rumbling*
<JamJam66> "And I'm still hungry…"
<Sax> Victor continues to shine a light in places.
<JamJam66> Sureley you can't choke on jelly? d10
<TheRaven> "Somebody poison the food?"
<JamJam66> d10
<Glacon> JamJam66: 6 (d10=6)
<JamJam66> "Who knows?" He eats the jelly fine.
<Sax> Victor tries the jelly.
<Sax> d10
<Glacon> Sax: 2 (d10=2)
<Sax> He actually chokes this time.
<JamJam66> "FUCK!"
<JamJam66> 4df+9 Medical help!
<Glacon> JamJam66: Medical help!: 8 (4df+9=+, 0, -, -)
<Nanoro> The coffee machine growls.
<Nanoro> It has had enough of this intrusive spirit, trying to hog all of its glory.
<Sax> Victor struggles to breathe.
<JamJam66> 4df+9 Medicine!
<Glacon> JamJam66: Medicine!: 10 (4df+9=+, 0, -, +)
<Nanoro> It decides to muster its strength to call whatever is causing it, so it can then tear it apart.
<Nanoro> 4df+6 I AM THE COFFEE MACHINE.
<Glacon> Nanoro: I AM THE COFFEE MACHINE.: 4 (4df+6=-, 0, -, 0)
<Nanoro> .. Sadly, it is a bit rusty in demonic summoning.
<JamJam66> "You okay now?"
<Sax> "yeah…" He coughs hoarsely.
<Nanoro> It grumbles (boils) to itself. It needs time to recover enough strength to try again.
<Nanoro> Until then, the choking must resume.
<JamJam66> "Good."
<JamJam66> George heads to his room to try something.
<Nanoro> The machine's wrath builds.
<Wixelt> Wilson walks in, drinking some water
<Wixelt> d10
<Glacon> Wixelt: 4 (d10=4)
<Wixelt> He splutters little
<Wixelt> *a
<Nanoro> The coffee machine begins to boil.
<Nanoro> Very, very loudly.
<Nanoro> A dark haze builds around it.
<Nanoro> Within the obsidian liquid, you see two bright red eyes glow.
<Nanoro> 4df+12 WHO TREADS IN MY DOMAIN.
<Glacon> Nanoro: WHO TREADS IN MY DOMAIN.: 11 (4df+12=-, 0, +, -)
<TesKin> Branko walks into the cafeteria, glareing at the coffee machine.
<Nanoro> A literal demon made of coffee bursts out.
<Wixelt> Wilson frowns at the machine
<Wixelt> Then he yelps and jumps back
<Nanoro> A 9" tall hunk of muscle and horns.
<Wixelt> "Gah!
<Wixelt> *"
<TheRaven> Will draws his revolver. "The fuck?"
<TesKin> Branko just glares at Coffee Demon.
<Nanoro> It shrieks and raises one of its four clawed hands in the air.
<DiePotato> Jed strolls into the cafeteria "What's u-"
<DiePotato> "SHIT"
<Nanoro> 4df+12 YOU DO NOT BELONG. LEAVE.
<Glacon> Nanoro: YOU DO NOT BELONG. LEAVE.: 11 (4df+12=0, -, +, -)
<Nanoro> You feel something stir in the air.
<Wixelt> Wilson begins to back away
<DiePotato> Jed draws his sword
<JamJam66> "Hey, it's not… just… here…"
<JamJam66> "What the fuck is that?!"
<JamJam66> He backs away, gun raised.
<Nanoro> The demon steams and boils with infernal wrath. Whatever it is, it is /resisting/.
<TesKin> Branko swaggers over to coffee demon.
<TheRaven> Will slowly backs up. "Whoever told me I don't need to carry a full combat load here was an /idiot/."
<TesKin> He gives - fucks.
<Nanoro> It raises another arm.
<Nanoro> … And glares down at Branko.
<JamJam66> ~This gun won't do anything against a liquid!~
<TesKin> Branko glares it down.
<Nanoro> Then, it raises the two remaining arms.
<TesKin> He is 100% done with this Coffee Machine.
<Nanoro> 4df+12 I SAID LEAVE.
<Glacon> Nanoro: I SAID LEAVE.: 11 (4df+12=-, +, -, 0)
<Nanoro> … You now feel another presence in the room.
<JamJam66> George looks around for this new.
<JamJam66> new… thing.
<Nanoro> It is less corporeal, but still apparent. It just… Exists in the air.
<DiePotato> Jed is still watching the demon sword drawn
<Nanoro> It feels almost suffocating to be within it.
<Nanoro> 4df+12 WHY_DO_YOU_NOT_DIE
<Glacon> Nanoro: WHY_DO_YOU_NOT_DIE: 12 (4df+12=+, +, -, -)
<Nanoro> Something ruptures.
<Nanoro> Just… Tears. Rends.
<Wixelt> By this point, Wilson is out of the door.
<Nanoro> You hear nothing, but know that something just screamed. Loud.
<Wixelt> He runs off down the corridor to call for assistance.
<JamJam66> George stands his ground. Someone may need medical help.
<Nanoro> The coffee demon lowers its arms and glares at the puny humans below.
<Nanoro> … NOT TODAY.
<DiePotato> (thats my line)
<TesKin> Branko watches Coffee Demon, still pissed.
<Nanoro> It begins to lose its form.
<Nanoro> It withdraws back into the coffee pot, inert as ever.
<DiePotato> Jed watches it dissolve into the pot
<DiePotato> "Well"
<DiePotato> He sheathes his blade
<JamJam66> "That was wierd."
<DiePotato> "Looks like that's done"
<JamJam66> "Should we get a new coffee machin"
<Nanoro> The air feels much clearer now.
<TheRaven> "What in the hell was that?"
<DiePotato> Jed shrugs
<JamJam66> *machine?"
<DiePotato> "I just wanted some food"
<DiePotato> Jed goes over to the array of foods and grabs some
<DiePotato> d10
<Glacon> DiePotato: 3 (d10=3)
<DiePotato> (OHMYGOD)
<Nanoro> It is bad.
<Nanoro> But, you do not choke.
<DiePotato> Jed spits out the food
<Nanoro> Whatever was causing it is gone.
<TesKin> Branko walks out, heading to the firing range.
<DiePotato> "God what's with the food today"
<DiePotato> Jed walks back to his room deciding to go into his secret stash
<Wixelt> Wilson returns with several guards in tow.
<Wixelt> He glances around, looking for the demon.
<Nanoro> There is nothing but a regular coffee machine.
<Wixelt> Wilson frowns, but has the guards remove the machine anyway.
<TheRaven> "That's the second time the appliances around here have started doing weird shit."
<Nanoro> The coffee machine boils to itself while it is being hauled away.
<Nanoro> (FOOLS. I SAVED THEM NOW. BUT ONLY SO /I/ AND /I/ ALONE MAY TORMENT THEM.)
<Nanoro> Nathan is doing medical things in Medical.
<JamJam66> George, Artyom and maybe Wilson in tow, rush into Medical.
<Nanoro> Notably, examining his experiment results.
<JamJam66> "Nathan! We have a heart attack!"
<DiePotato> Artyom's still writhing a bit
<DiePotato> He don't look good
<Nanoro> "… Hm?" He raises his head.
<JamJam66> "Heart. Attack."
<Nanoro> After a few confused blinks, he springs into action. "Place him on the bed." He points to a nearby empty one.
<JamJam66> George does so.
<JamJam66> "Anyway I can help?"
<Nanoro> He slams the intercom. "We have a heart attack, nurses to do CPR ASAP."
<DiePotato> Artyom is placed on the bed
<Wixelt> Wilson watches with concern.
<Nanoro> Several nurses rush to the scene and begin hovering over Artyom.
<DiePotato> Artyom's face is a mixture of pain and anger
<DiePotato> ~HELP ME~
<Nanoro> 4df+6 CPR happens
<Glacon> Nanoro: CPR happens: 6 (4df+6=-, +, +, -)
<JamJam66> ~What was up with that pie?<Nanoro> The nurses do goodly!
<JamJam66> (The nurses do /well/)
<Nanoro> (No, /goodly/.)
<Nanoro> (>:U)
<Nanoro> (My damn nurses)
<JamJam66> George heads back to the cafeteria.
<DiePotato> Artyom is CPR'd
<DiePotato> ~when this is over I'm getting a drink~
<Wixelt> Wilson just leans against a wall looking guilty.
<DiePotato> Artyom lays unconscious in Medical.
<TesKin> Branko shoots shit in the firing range.
<JamJam66> George appears in medical to check on Artyom.
<DiePotato> He's unconscious
<JamJam66> But stable.
<JamJam66> That's what matters
<JamJam66> ~Good.~
<JamJam66> He goes back to commons to relax.