[SPIDERSNACK]

<TeslaTornado> Harris takes a break from vehicle maintenance to get a snack!

<gumbal1> The snack snags on a lower rack of the vending machine.
<TeslaTornado> Harris raises an eyebrow at this turn of events. He's not the most familiar with modern vending machines.
<TeslaTornado> "Ah jes' wanned a turnover, c'mon…"
<gumbal1> The [DELICIOUS SNACK] taunts Harris from its position.

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<TeslaTornado> 4df+6 (ENG + NDIG) His first instinct, as an engineer, is to attempt to take the bastard machine apart.
<Glacon> TeslaTornado: (ENG + NDIG) His first instinct, as an engineer, is to attempt to take the bastard machine apart.: 7 (4df+6=-, +, +, 0)
<gumbal1> Looks like the [DELICIOUS SNACK] got caught on one of the hooks that turn food forward.
<TeslaTornado> Any way to get it out?
<gumbal1> Well, he could try to shake the machine.
<TeslaTornado> 4df+3 (STR) Harris was never one for doing things the Safe Way.
<Glacon> TeslaTornado: (STR) Harris was never one for doing things the Safe Way.: 5 (4df+3=-, +, +, +)
<gumbal1> 1d10
<Glacon> gumbal1: 3 (1d10=3)
<gumbal1> Harris succesfully shakes off the [DELICIOUS SNACK].
<TeslaTornado> Harris looks pleased by this development. He wipes his greasy, black hands off on a part of his mechanic's jumpsuit that is only marginally less greasy and black than his hands, and retrieves [DELICIOUS SNACK] from the machine.
<gumbal1> It looks like [DELICIOUS SNACK] expired two weeks ago.
<TeslaTornado> Harris squints at the expiration date, and decides that two weeks over apple turnover is better than two months over canned dog food (Topeka, 1937).
<TeslaTornado> He cautiously pulls the wrapper off.
<gumbal1> I mean, it looks fine.
<TeslaTornado> 4df+4 (PERC) He sniffs at it experimentally.
<Glacon> TeslaTornado: (PERC) He sniffs at it experimentally.: 3 (4df+4=-, 0, 0, 0)
<gumbal1> Smells fine, you guess.
<TeslaTornado> Finally convinced of the (relative) safety of the food item - it isn't like it was taken out of the wrapper or anything - Harris takes a bite from the [DELICIOUS SNACK].
<gumbal1> Yeah, it feels like you just took a bite out of a spider nest, and looking at the [DELICIOUS SNACK]'s insides, this appears to be true.
<TeslaTornado> Harris stares at the turnover for a few moments.
<TeslaTornado> The delayed reaction hasn't set in yet.
<TeslaTornado> Something crawls over his tongue.
<TeslaTornado> Reflexively, he spits, retches violently, his eyes widening in dismayed shock.
<TeslaTornado> He looks down at the snack still in his hand. Maybe the first bite was just a fluke—nope the whole rest of it is spiders too.
<TeslaTornado> "OH HELL."
<TeslaTornado> He tosses the snack to the ground and gropes in his pockets for the omnipresent book of matches.

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<TeslaTornado> He acquires one of the matches, strikes it, touches it to the snack on the floor.
<gumbal1> The spiders burn, as does [SPIDERSNACK].
<gumbal1> RIP in rip, [SPIDERSNACK]. RIP in rip.
<TeslaTornado> Harris looks at the snack in distress, wondering what sick, twisted fuck would do that to another human being.
<TeslaTornado> Aztec gods? No problem.
<TeslaTornado> Demon Sherriff Charles Atlas? Okay.
<TeslaTornado> Robotic doppelganger of a lightning-slinging borderline sociopath you have a crush on? Dealin' with it.
<TeslaTornado> Fucking apple turnover full of spiders?
<TeslaTornado> The devil's work.

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