No Animals Were Harmed

<Prior> Ryan is in the woods, shooting at paper targets pinned to trees.
<Prior> 4df+5 fuck you targets
<Glacon> Prior: fuck you targets: 4 (4df+5=0, 0, 0, -)
<Prior> 4df+5 fuck you targets

<Glacon> Prior: fuck you targets: 2 (4df+5=0, -, -, -)
<Prior> 4df+5 fuck you targets
<Glacon> Prior: fuck you targets: 4 (4df+5=-, 0, +, -)

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<Prior> He grits his teeth. "Not great. Not great at all."

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<LemurLord> There's a rustling in the trees nearby
<Prior> Ryan pauses. "Someone there?"
<Wixelt> Meanwhile, in the cafeteria, Wilson helps himself to another cup of coffee.
<Wixelt> d10
<Glacon> Wixelt: 9 (d10=9)
<LemurLord> The rustling continues undeterred
<Wixelt> It's really good and nothing bad happens.
<Prior> Ryan steps away from the trees carefully.
<Prior> "Who's there?"
<LemurLord> You feel a gentle breath on your shoulder
<Prior> Ryan jumps and turns around.

<Prior> Gun still raised.
<LemurLord> It's just a deer, jumpy. It stares blankly at Ryan, aimlessly chewing on some leaves

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<Prior> "You're a very friendly fella, aren't you?"
<LemurLord> *chewing intensifies*
<Prior> "Now, most deer aren't this friendly. And I know there are folks that hunt around here…"
<Prior> "I'm talking to a deer. Well done Richardson, you've finally snapped."

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<LemurLord> The deer looks surprised all of a sudden, it's staring wide-eyed just past Ryan. It gallops away in fear

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<Prior> 4df+1 Does he realise it was past him?
<Glacon> Prior: Does he realise it was past him?: 0 (4df+1=0, +, -, -)
<Prior> Ryan sighs and holsters his weapon.
<Prior> "Damn deer. Should have shot it when I could."
<LemurLord> The quiet of the woods is interrupted by a low, deafening growl. The sounds reverberating about the entire woods and within Ryan's skull. It sounds like it's coming from right…

behind… him
<Prior> "Oh… dear." He attempts to run back to site 19.

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<LemurLord> The ground shakes underneath you as whatever was behind you gives chase
<LemurLord> Roll Agility!
<Prior> 4df+2 OH FUCK
<Glacon> Prior: OH FUCK: 3 (4df+2=0, -, +, +)

<LemurLord> Branches and leaves and roots impede your escape and you can feel your pursuer getting nearer. The air getting moist from its loud, heavy breaths
<Prior> How far am I from 19?
<LemurLord> (Well you are across the ocean so… about 4,000 miles)

  • Prior golf claps.

<LemurLord> Ryan, on the other hand, is getting closer. But it is too late, he feels a mighty arm swing at him, knocking him into a nearby tree. Roll Pdef
<Prior> 4df+4 Holy shit lemur if you kill me…
<Glacon> Prior: Holy shit lemur if you kill me…: 3 (4df+4=-, +, 0, -)
<LemurLord> Ryan is dazed and bruised, but nothing serious. The beast approaches and leans in close. Ryan's vision is blurry, but he can make out a large head and piercing yellow eyes
<Prior> Can I shoot it in the eyes, or am I too dazed?
<LemurLord> you may try
<LemurLord> r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-roll!
<Prior> 4df+5 Ryan unloads the rest of his pistol into its face and eyes in particular.
<Glacon> Prior: Ryan unloads the rest of his pistol into its face and eyes in particular.: 4 (4df+5=0, +, -, -)

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<LemurLord> The beast sees Ryan go for his gun, but it is too late! One of the bullets graze its cheek, blood starts to gush
<Prior> Ryan draws his machete and tries to get it in the face again while screaming "GODDAMMIT DOUG YOU SUCK!"
<Prior> 4df+4
<Glacon> Prior: 5 (4df+4=+, 0, -, +)
<LemurLord> The beast is still recoiling from the bullet. The blade plunges deep into its shoulder. It roars in pain and tries escape, the machete stuck in the flesh
<Optimal> Somewhere out in the woods, Doug can hear his name being used in vein, along with the statement "you suck".
<Prior> Ryan tries to pull the machete out and hit it again.
<Prior> 4df+4 Strength.
<Glacon> Prior: Strength.: 2 (4df+4=-, +, -, -)
<LemurLord> The thing is gone before your puny fingers can even grip the handle. It leaves a trail of blood as it runs into the brush
<Prior> Ryan follows it, reloading his pistol as he does so.
<LemurLord> Roll Perc to track it
<Optimal> Doug comes running out of the woods like a bat out of hell. "WHO THE FUCK JUST SAID I SUCK?!?"
<Prior> LemurLord: Could I use survival instead?
<LemurLord> sure
<LemurLord> I guess

<Prior> 4df+3 because while I'm an old hunter, my per sucks.
<Glacon> Prior: because while I'm an old hunter, my per sucks.: 3 (4df+3=+, -, +, -)
<Prior> "I was just attacked by some sort of… I don't even know." Ryan pants. "How did it get past the walls?"
<LemurLord> The blood is easy to follow and the trail leads you deeper into the woods
<LemurLord> Doug can roll Perc as well
<Optimal> 4df+3 say whaaaaaaaaat
<Glacon> Optimal: say whaaaaaaaaat: 1 (4df+3=+, -, -, -)
<Prior> We continue to follow it. Or at least Ryan does.
<LemurLord> Doug runs into a tree
<Optimal> Doug quickly gets up and rubs his head, still not entirely sure what's going on. "How did what get past the walls?"
<LemurLord> The trail ends just at the lip of the lake.
<Prior> "Not sure what. Big. Gorilla-y, but not a gorilla you know?"
<Prior> Lemur, did the big monster look amphibious or water-dwelling?
<LemurLord> Nope. Lots of hair on that one
<Optimal> "Like… Like King Kong?"
<Prior> "I guess so. Not as big, I think."
<Optimal> "Holy shit!" Doug fumbles around on his back, getting his patrol rifle. "We need to find this thing!"
<Prior> Right, so if this thing were amphibious-looking we'd be best off going back and getting the crew.
<LemurLord> Both of you roll Perc
<Optimal> 4df+3
<Glacon> Optimal: 3 (4df+3=+, -, +, -)
<Prior> 4df+1
<Prior> 4df+1
<Prior> .ping
<Prior> 4df+1
<Glacon> Prior: -1 (4df+1=-, -, -, +)
<LemurLord> Doug, you can faintly see a large creature emerge from the side of the lake. It's one shoulder is covered in blood
<LemurLord> It looks back at the water in confusion and then all around, trying to figure out what to do
<Optimal> "Holy hell… this gonna be good." He tries to aim his standard issue patrol rifle at it.
<Prior> "What is…" Ryan sees it only because doug is looking right at it. "That's the bastard!"
<Optimal> 4df+4 (Ranged) Come 'ere you sonovabitch.
<Glacon> Optimal: (Ranged) Come 'ere you sonovabitch.: 2 (4df+4=-, 0, -, 0)
<Prior> Ryan begins running around the lake to get to it.
<Prior> "Give me back my machete you fuck!"
<LemurLord> The sand next to the beast explodes and startles it. It spots Ryan lunging at it and roars in retaliation
<LemurLord> Before hightailing it the fuck out of there
<Prior> Ryan shoots at it as it retreats.
<Prior> 4df+5
<Glacon> Prior: 3 (4df+5=-, +, -, -)
<Optimal> "Dammit!" Doug runs after it, coming up behind Ryan.
<Prior> Ryan continues chasing it.
<LemurLord> The beast's hind leg is drenched in blood as a bullet manages to cut into it. It continues to limp away
<Prior> The new yorkers carry on chasing.
<LemurLord> The beast can be found leaning against a tree. It tries to run away, but its wounds prevent it
<Prior> "I don't suppose you can talk?"
<Prior> Ryan doesn't lower his gun.

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<Optimal> Doug runs up behind and slows down when he approaches behind Ryan.
<LemurLord> It roars again to try and scare Ryan away, but the fear in its eyes is unmistakable
<Prior> "Too fucking bad."
<Prior> 4df+5 Die.
<Glacon> Prior: Die.: 7 (4df+5=+, 0, +, 0)

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<LemurLord> "Stop!" a voice shrieks. A body lunges itself at Ryan, but it is not enough
<LemurLord> The bullet pierces the creature's heart, killing it instantly
<Optimal> Doug was going to yell in success until he hears the wimpy "stop".
<Prior> Ryan turns to the newcomer. "Was that thing yours?"
<LemurLord> "You bastards!" the voices belongs to a young girl in her early teens. She tries to hit Ryan, but come on that's like tossing a pillow at a wall
<Prior> Ryan begins to consider that he may have been hasty. On the other hand, that thing just tried to kill him.
<LemurLord> "I was supposed to take care of it!" She shouts behind tears
<Prior> "I'm sorry, I'm lost here. You are?"
<Prior> Lost as in 'what the fuck is going on?'

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<LemurLord> Having exhausted herself trying to beat up Ryan, the girl backs up, "So was he, we both are."
<Prior> "Wonderful. Life tip little girl. When you're lost, you ask directions. Not try to kill people."
<LemurLord> She wipes her eyes with her sleeve, "He was scared. My papa told me you people were no good, he told me…"
<Prior> Ryan sighs. "Alright. I'm sorry. What was… he?"
<Prior> "Doug, don't suppose you have any combat lifesaver training?"

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<Optimal> "I think the better question is where did she come from?"

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<LemurLord> The girl is sniffling into her sleeve, "He was my friend. I just want to go home…"
<Prior> "Another excellent question. In fact… Wait. This is dumb. We have official channels for reporting anomalies. You call the FBI or whatever. Why did you break into a secure government

facility and try to…"
<Recursive> Hey, what's that? Up in the air! A shooting star!
<Prior> Ryan takes a step back and reloads his gun.
<LemurLord> "A-a secure wha-?"
<Prior> "I really don't like this."
<LemurLord> "I don't even know where I am!"
<Optimal> "Little girl. What is your name?"
<Prior> "but you know who we are? You said about your grandfather."

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<Prior> *father. Redact and substitute.
<LemurLord> "I-I'm Layla… You're f-from There"
<LemurLord> "Please don't hurt me…"
<Prior> "We won't."
<Prior> "Doug, does your radio have range to out here?"
<Optimal> "Let me check." Doug pulls out his radio and checks the signal.
<LemurLord> "N-no, I don't believe you." She backs away
<Prior> "Girl, we have the only shelter for literally miles around. Why did you come here if you won't trust us?"
<LemurLord> "I thought I'd see the nice man again… It was the same door…" she continues backing away, inching closer to the forest
<Optimal> Doug leans towards Ryan. "Hey. I think she might be a bit 'coocoo'."
<Prior> Ryan carefully takes steps closer, whispering to doug. "Get 19 surround area. Dangerous breach."
<Prior> Ryan gets ready to break into a sprint.
<Optimal> Doug backs away from Ryan and the girl to get some privacy. He holds the botton on his radio. He calls in for backup in wherever the hell they are.
<Optimal> Also making them aware of the little girl.
<Prior> "I want to help you. I'm sorry about your friend. He's a scary looking guy, you know?"
<Prior> "But I can only help you if you trust me."
<LemurLord> "Liar!" she runs away. Deep into the woods
<Prior> Ryan breaks into a sprint after her.
<LemurLord> roll agility to catch up
<Prior> 4df+2
<Glacon> Prior: 2 (4df+2=+, -, 0, 0)
<Prior> Tits.
<Optimal> Doug whips around in Ryan's direction.
<Optimal> "The little girl is on the move! Ryan's on her tail."
<LemurLord> The girl is quick in the trees, but Ryan keeps up. She shouts back, "Leave me alone!"
<Prior> Ryan doesn't bother replying.
<LemurLord> She emerges from the trees into a clearing where a large mossy rock sits. She runs right to it and bangs on it with her fist, "NO! NO! NO! LET ME IN! LET ME IN!"
<Prior> Ryan tries to grab her and restrain her.
<Optimal> Doug tries to catch up from behind.
<LemurLord> She tries to resist and in her thrashing her fist sneaks into her pocket, and before Ryan can react a small blade is plunged into his wrist
<Prior> Ryan attempts to ignore this and throw her away from the rock so doug can grab her.
<Optimal> Doug emerges in the area where they are, just in the nick of time. He sees Ryan push her away and Doug tries to get a good strong hold of her.
<LemurLord> roll str
<Optimal> 4df+5 muy macho
<Glacon> Optimal: muy macho: 2 (4df+5=-, 0, -, -)
<LemurLord> She breaks free of Doug's puny man-grip and falls to the ground
<Prior> Ryan tries to grab her again.
<Daedalus> Ryan, Agility.
<Prior> 4df+4
<Glacon> Prior: 2 (4df+4=+, -, -, -)
<Prior> wait
<Prior> 4df+2
<Glacon> Prior: 2 (4df+2=0, 0, -, +)
<LemurLord> (was that supposed to be better?)
<Prior> (rolled wrong stat)
<Prior> (was expecting STR)

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<Daedalus> You feel something heavy wrap itself around your legs and trip you. Looking down, you can see a pair of bronze bolas entwined around your legs as you fall.
<Prior> "Get her Doug!"

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<Prior> Ryan tries to get the bolas off.
<Optimal> "Dammit." Doug lunges and tries to grab again!
<Prior> Where the hell is our backup!
<LemurLord> She crawls away
<Optimal> 4df+5 SOOPER STRONGTH
<Glacon> Optimal: SOOPER STRONGTH: 8 (4df+5=+, 0, +, +)

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<LemurLord> Layla descends into another fit of tears
<Daedalus> A man wearing a double breasted red vest and beige overcoat drops down from the trees. A shint grey tin doughboy hat covers his head as he aims a long rifle at Doug. "Let her


  • ZombieRaptor_ is now known as ZombieRaptor

<Prior> ryan draws his pistol and points it at the newcomer.
<Optimal> Doug pauses, eyes wide.
<Optimal> But doesn't let go.
<LemurLord> "Help!" Layla cries at the new person she's never seen before
<Prior> "We only want to help!" Ryan shouts. "The fuck is wrong with you people?"
<LemurLord> "They shot my Gonagollun, They're mean!"
<Prior> "The gone golem tried to kill me!"
<Prior> "And then it stole my machete!"
<Daedalus> He's a tall, proud-looking man. A golden winged pin on his lapel insinuates he's part of a group. He wears a brown bag with the letters P.P.P.S on the side, and on his back is a

strange, mechanical pack. "The name is Nicholas Dare, Postmaster 2nd Class. Peppermint Postal and Parcel Services. Let the girl go."

  • ProcyonLotor is now known as ProcyonFood

<Prior> "Listen, we really aren't enemies. You're tresspassers, we retaliated. I'm sure we can talk this out!"
<Prior> "Why did you send the girl here?"

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<LemurLord> "I just found a door! I didn't mean to cause trouble!" She cries
<Prior> "Okay. Worth knowing. Question 2. What the hell is PPPS, apart from the obvious?"
<Optimal> Doug looks at Ryan for the answers here. "Should I let her go?"
<Daedalus> "I just said, Peppermint Postal and Parcel Services, or have you not be listening? And I've sent no one, asscravat. I was doing my rounds, surveying the area when I heard this

girl's cry for help. I knew the people of There were cruel, but I didn't think they'd be this appaling." He turns to the man, "You killed a Gonagollun without a permit, presumably."
<Prior> To Doug. "No." To the newcomer. "Alright, so we're… jesus christ, some sort of other universe beyond this rock. If we destroy the rock will the portal disappear?"

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<Daedalus> "No. What, you think that the rock is the source of all things that flow from Here? Because it's not." He shakes his head, "I knew you were uneducated, but Jove alive are you

<Daedalus> "It'll just move, change, shift."
<Prior> "Okay, so you're arguably christian. Wonderful. And we can't seal it. Okay. How many potals are there into this world?"
<LemurLord> "Tell him to get offa me!"
<Platypus> William walked outside,rummaging through his medical bag.
<Daedalus> "Who the hell is Christian? I'm Nicholas." He shakes his head. "Portal occurances are increasing, and unfortunately many of them lead here; to you imbeciles. Now, let the girl go

or you'll have to witness how good of a shot I am."
<Prior> "He can tell him all he likes. If he fires he'll half a chance hit you."
<Platypus> William looked up."What's going on?"
<LemurLord> (This is deep in the woods Platypus)
<Prior> Platypus We are nowhere near the base, although if you've just turned up her thank GOD
<Daedalus> "And they're called doors." Nick corrects, "And it doesn't matter. Let the girl go."
<Platypus> "I come out here to grow herbs."William said,pointing to a small garden.What's going on?"
<Daedalus> "For the umpteenth time."
<Platypus> William reaches into his medical bag.
<Prior> LemurLord: Wait, so is will here or not?
<LemurLord> (he could)
<Platypus> (I am)
<Prior> "Will, why not show this fella your scalpel like you did to branko the first time?"
<Platypus> "Who are you?"
<Optimal> Doug continues holding the girl, because those were his orders.
<Platypus> "I want names."
<Daedalus> 4df+10 He sighs, "Asscravats, the lot of you." He fires his dartgun at Doug's neck.
<Glacon> Daedalus: He sighs, "Asscravats, the lot of you." He fires his dartgun at Doug's neck.: 12 (4df+10=+, 0, 0, +)
<Prior> "I REALLY think he'd like to see those scalpels, will!"
<Platypus> "Who are you?"
<Platypus> "I want NAMES!"
<Prior> 4df+5 Ryan shoots at the man's leg.
<Glacon> Prior: Ryan shoots at the man's leg.: 4 (4df+5=-, 0, +, -)
<LemurLord> Doug is darted
<Optimal> I think it's safe to say Doug gets knocked the fuck out here. He coughs a bit, and falls over.
<Prior> "Will! GRAB THE GIRL!"
<Platypus> William,confused,aims his rifle."EVERYONE FREEZE!"
<LemurLord> Layla darts straight to Nick, "Thank you, thank you, thank you"

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<Optimal> Doug is most definetely frozen.
<Platypus> "Names,everyone!"
<Prior> (LemurLord I just shot that man in the leg.)
<Optimal> *definitely
<LemurLord> (hush, im slow on the uptake)

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<Platypus> "What?"
<Platypus> "Who are you guys?"

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  • Roosevelt is now known as Daedlus

<LemurLord> There's a young girl in her early teens, covered in tears

  • Daedlus is now known as Daedalus
  • Optimal is now known as pizza

<Daedalus> The dart imbeds itself into Doug's neck, paralyzing him temporarily.
<Platypus> Will walks over to the girl.
<Platypus> "Who is this?"

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<Prior> (Daedalus You may or may not have a bullet in your leg.)
<LemurLord> The girl is hiding in the arms of a large stranger dressed in strange garb who has a bullet wound in his leg

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<Daedalus> Nick jumps after the girl, grabbing her away from Will.
<Platypus> "Let me see that wound of yours" Will says.
<Daedalus> Presumably, his leg is injured, but he manages to ignore it.
<Platypus> "I'm a medic."
<Daedalus> 4df+10 he shoots Will.
<Glacon> Daedalus: he shoots Will.: 12 (4df+10=-, +, +, +)
<Daedalus> Well, a dart flies into Will's chest, paralyzing him temporarily as well.
<Prior> 4df+5 Ryan fires at the other leg because fuck this shit.
<Glacon> Prior: Ryan fires at the other leg because fuck this shit.: 4 (4df+5=-, +, 0, -)
<Platypus> "DAMN!"
<Platypus> William struggles to reach his bag.
<Daedalus> 4df+7 Nick jetpacks both him and the girl away from here.
<Glacon> Daedalus: Nick jetpacks both him and the girl away from here.: 11 (4df+7=+, +, +, +)
<Prior> Ryan struggles on leg out of the bola and stands up.
<Optimal> *snore*
<Daedalus> They're away! And fast too.
<Prior> Ryan fires at them as they escape.
<Platypus> William opens his bag and grabs a syringe.
<Prior> 4df-4535545354345
<Glacon> Prior: -4535545354345 (4df-4535545354345=-, -, +, +)
<Prior> (just showing willng)
<LemurLord> (do it in ooc)
<LemurLord> (keep ic channels in character)
<Platypus> Will injects himself,negating the paralysis.
<Prior> Ryan walks over to will.
<Platypus> William sits up.
<Daedalus> The bullets, they do nothing. Soon, they're out of sight.
<Platypus> "Who were those fuckers?"
<Prior> 4df+4 Ryan punches will in the face.
<Glacon> Prior: Ryan punches will in the face.: 2 (4df+4=-, +, -, -)
<Optimal> *snore*
<Platypus> Will removes the dart from his chest.
<gumbal1> "Beats me." A voice from nearby says.
<Platypus> Will holds his nose.
<Platypus> "Agh!"
<LemurLord> (peepl just be showing up all over the place)
<Platypus> "Who were they?"

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<Platypus> Will stands up.

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<Prior> Ryan turns to headf back to site 19.
<Prior> "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a knife wound on my wrist and I need attention."
<Platypus> Will just stands there.
<Prior> Ryan leaves.
<LemurLord> (the corpse of that beast still has a machete lodged in its shoulder)
<Optimal> *snore*
<gumbal1> "You'll find many a strange thing in the woods."
<Prior> Ryan taks the machete as he passes it.
<Platypus> Will still just stands there.
<Prior> "And somebody send out a recovery team for this pile of shit!"
<Platypus> William says something under his breath.
<Optimal> Sleeping Doug is offended by Ryan's statement.
<Platypus> William turns to Doug.
<Optimal> *snore*
<Platypus> William drags Doug back to base.
<gumbal1> A figure's standing over Doug, looking down on him. Well, maybe. The bandages covering their head and hands may be limiting their ability to look.
<Optimal> *snore*

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