Ghosts of Christmas Past

[17:16:26] <SpookyBee> Ethel rushes to briefing!
[17:16:36] <Daedalus> John reports to the briefing.
[17:16:37] TheRaven [nodnol.fo.rewot|nevar.a#nodnol.fo.rewot|nevar.a] has joined #homeimprovement
[17:16:54] <Aphex_> Hans is already there, smoking and looking miffed as always.
[17:18:01] <TheRaven> Will shows up, wondering what shit is hitting what fan today.
[17:18:42] Soulless [lluks.ruoy.fo.trofmoc.eht.edisni.teg.ot.stn|w#lluks.ruoy.fo.trofmoc.eht.edisni.teg.ot.stn|w] has joined #homeimprovement
[17:19:42] <SpookyBee> "… So what's the deal?"
[17:20:00] <TheSpookanist> An older-looking gentleman in a charcoal suit with a /very/ nice mustache enters with a thick file, which he tosses on the table before getting out a pair of reading glasses. "Is this all?"
[17:20:13] <Daedalus> "Probably."
[17:20:13] <Aphex_> "…"
[17:20:16] <Soulless> Rolf eyes the gentleman with the nice suit and moustache.
[17:20:20] <Soulless> He is also around! :v
[17:21:37] <SpookyBee> "Seems that way." She shrugs
[17:22:19] <TheRaven> "Guess so…wait, since when are you back?" Will looks at Ethel.
[17:22:36] <SpookyBee> "In the flesh, baby." Ethel faux-flexes
[17:22:58] <Daedalus> "Shut up."
[17:23:26] <TheSpookanist> "Very well then." He pats the gigantic file. "This is on the activity - for a single week - of a man named Bishop Emanuele Fausto Acciai. Two hours ago, he and a following of three thousand, one hundred seventy-one followers departed via a disguised cargo ship on an invasion of Israel. Specifically, their target is the city of Jerusalem." He sighs. "In short, he has called a crusade."
[17:23:44] <Daedalus> "You're fucking with us."
[17:24:12] <TheSpookanist> He pulls a black and white photo, taken from a distance, of what seems to be a blurry lantern hung from a chain around someone's neck. "I am not. This is the anomaly." He passes the picture around.
[17:24:28] <SpookyBee> "…" Ethel blinks- "… This is what I live for." And at the very moment, Ethel's mental ammunition begins forming.
[17:24:29] <TheRaven> "Three thousand idiots on a boat. Any armament?"
[17:25:05] <Daedalus> "What's the weird part? We wouldn't be going after this guy if he was just declaring war."
[17:25:09] <TheSpookanist> "Whatever military equipment they could procure with funds appropriated from the Catholic Church."
[17:25:33] <Aphex_> Hans just sniffs and looks over files.
[17:25:42] <TheSpookanist> "The weird part, as it were, is that this lantern - as far as its wearer claims - speaks to him, in a voice that claims to be the angel Gabriel."
[17:26:20] <Daedalus> "Is he actually hearing angels?" John looks at the picture, "Or is he just nuts?"
[17:27:03] <SpookyBee> "So kill the Catholics and smash the lantern."
[17:27:07] <TheSpookanist> "We have no reason to believe from his psychiatric and medical records that he's suffering from any sort of normal hallucination, but we also have no reason to believe any angels are speaking through that damn lantern."
[17:27:09] <SpookyBee> "… Contain. Contain the lantern."
[17:28:45] <Daedalus> "So what the fuck do you want us to do?"
[17:28:51] <TheSpookanist> "Correct. You will be containing the lantern. The Israeli forces will be supporting you to a limited degree, and you will have some Foundation equipment to support you by way of artillery - though /not/ if there are civilians in the area. We don't need a goddamn pissing match with their government."
[17:30:09] <Soulless> Rolf just smiles.
[17:30:20] <Soulless> Ah, yes, talking to people. His specialty.
[17:30:24] <Daedalus> "So, what, you're gonna just drop us onto a boat with 3000 armed combatants and cross your fingers?"
[17:30:32] <TheRaven> "Containment measures for the lantern? I'm guessing we don't want to touch it."
[17:31:35] <TheSpookanist> "At this rate we will be arriving /after/ their forces. You'll have to infiltrate occupied territory, unless the Israelis manage to stop thousands of fanatics from pouring onto their beaches."
[17:31:59] <SpookyBee> "I'll handle the lantern… Anomalous shit is my thing."
[17:31:59] <TheSpookanist> "Take as many precautions as you can with the lantern; if you can't recover it without ill effects, we'll let a containment team deal with it."
[17:33:19] <Daedalus> "Right, so, we infiltrate enemy territory, neutralize this… rogue bishop, and contain the lantern. What's the plan for exfil?
[17:33:19] <Daedalus> "
[17:33:39] <TheSpookanist> "Bishop Acciai here has set himself up as an anti-pope, for those of you who've read your history books, under the name Urban the Ninth. Subtle guy. He hasn't let anyone else touch it, so if you can't get him to hand it over peacefully, you'll have to kill him."
[17:34:03] <TheSpookanist> "For exfiltration, we'll be cooperating with the Israelis. I don't know their plans. They barely know ours."
[17:34:14] <Aphex_> "…" Sniff, keep reading, put out cigarette.
[17:34:16] <TheRaven> "Hell, it shouldn't be that hard to keep them offshore. 3000 barely-trained crusader wannabes isn't an amphibious force to worry about."
[17:34:23] <Soulless> "Leave me alone with him and it will be ours."
[17:35:17] <TheSpookanist> "So we hope, but they're very well-armed and surprisingly disciplined."
[17:35:38] <TheSpookanist> "Any questions?"
[17:36:58] <TheRaven> "We trying to minimize casualties with his army? Sounds like they might be mind-controlled or something."
[17:37:08] <Daedalus> "Might be. Never know."
[17:37:25] <Daedalus> "Religious folks can get a bit fanatical."
[17:37:38] <Daedalus> "Wouldn't surprise me if they were following him."
[17:37:54] <SpookyBee> "… Mind control ain't even necessary with bible-thumpers. They do it to 'emselves."
[17:38:02] <TheSpookanist> "Frankly, I don't give a damn what you do with them. Our priorities are that lantern. If they surrender, don't kill them."
[17:38:17] <Daedalus> "That's standard protocol, yea."
[17:38:47] <TheRaven> "Roger that, if we don't know how the control works it'll be hard as hell to deal with anyways."
[17:39:09] <Soulless> "Shalll we go?"
[17:39:34] <TheSpookanist> "Right then. If there's no further questions, class dismissed. Good luck out there." He tucks the glasses into his pocket and begins reassembling the file from all the papers.
[17:39:53] <TheSpookanist> "Your transport is waiting offshore."
[17:40:16] <SpookyBee> Ethel nods- "Meet you yuppies at the boat. I've got gear to pick up."
[17:40:27] <Daedalus> John packs his shotgun and flask, heading to the boat afterwards.
[17:41:58] <TheRaven> Will grabs his gear and heads for the boat. No sword, but he brings the MG42…3000 fanatics could be one hell of a human wave attack.
[17:42:14] <Soulless> Rolf wears a good suit, the kind that accent his shoulders and chest and bum. Arrives clean shaven and soft-haired and eye-candy as he can while still looking like he's not trying too hard. Also, his butterfly knife, somewhere on his body.
[17:42:39] <Soulless> As well as his usual handgun, rope, handcuffs, bandanas, flashlight and radio.
[17:42:50] <TheSpookanist> There's a small rubber boat manned by frogmen (the naval term, that is) that takes the team to a larger vessel not far from the coast.
[17:42:56] <Aphex_> Hans wanders on with the others, shotgun slung over one shoulder alongside his usual gear.
[17:43:06] <SpookyBee> Ethel loads up on heavy armor… Specifically:
[17:43:12] <SpookyBee> https://www.irccloud.com/pastebin/czQLmull/
[17:45:09] <Daedalus> "Let's see if I have this right. Eyepatch is Cassidy, Suit Vogel, Emmerich's the deaf one, and the crazy one's Grindsler." John points to himself, "North."
[17:45:12] <Soulless> Rolf arches a brow at the whip but otherwise just heads on up to the boat and the larger vessel.
[17:46:23] <TheRaven> "Yep."
[17:46:31] <SpookyBee> "I ain't crazy…"
[17:49:36] <TheRaven> "They're probably gonna think you're some kind of demon, so…I guess try not to draw too much fire?"
[17:50:48] <SpookyBee> "… Good."
[17:53:20] <TheSpookanist> After a quick trip from the shores of Italy across the sea, they're closing in on the coast, already smoking with a trail of a quick-moving force. Bodies lay in the dirt, and distant booms can be heard. One of the agents approaches them. "All right, furthest we can take you's the shore, then it's about a straight shot east to their target. They haven't taken the roads, so you'll have to find and commandeer a vehicle that ca
[17:53:20] <TheSpookanist> n handle rough terrain. We've got word that they had salvaged or restored heavy armour that they stashed in the containers."
[17:54:13] <TheRaven> "…aw, shit. That's what I was afraid of."
[17:54:16] <Daedalus> "Fuck's sake, how much collection money did they take?"
[17:55:03] <Aphex_> "……" Oblivious Hans is oblivious. But! He knows a warzone when he sees it.
[17:55:09] <Soulless> Rolf thinks and nods. "Very well then." Maybe he shouldn't have brought a good suit.
[17:55:32] <TheSpookanist> He shrugs. "It's outdated stuff from the War. Looks like German stuff that was destroyed or burned out in Africa or near the Alps."
[17:55:52] <Daedalus> John sighs and shrugs, "What's the situation with the bishop? We have a definitive location for him?"
[17:56:25] <SpookyBee> Ethel simply listens for now…
[17:56:58] <TheSpookanist> "Not yet. He's on the ground with the rest of his forces and we don't have a whole lot of intel; looks like they're booking it straight there so they can try and set up before the bulk of their border security forces can group together."
[17:57:41] <Soulless> "This will prove irritating."
[17:58:15] <Daedalus> "That's real helpful. You got a map of the area so we aren't walking in blind?"
[17:58:17] <TheRaven> "Tell the Israelis to prioritize the armor if they've got anything to hit it with, we can handle infantry."
[17:58:39] <SpookyBee> "… People are squishy. We can handle squishy."
[17:59:04] <TheSpookanist> He holds up a finger and calls one of his friends with a big radio kit over, pulling a map from his backpack and handing it over.
[18:00:00] <Daedalus> John regards the map, laying it on the ground and illuminating it with his flashlight, "Alright, so where are we, and where is Mr. Anti-pope?"
[18:00:29] <TheSpookanist> "We're on the shore directly west of Jerusalem."
[18:01:07] <TheSpookanist> "Foundation forces will be deploying twenty-five pounders behind you as you move in; only call em in if you need it and can avoid collateral."
[18:02:26] <Daedalus> "Alright. So here." He points it out on the map, "We'll call out coordinates from this map if we need the support. Now, where do we think the anti-christ is gonna be? We have a general bead on his location, heading?"
[18:03:24] <Soulless> "He'll want to keep his lamp safe, presumably, so not in the front.."
[18:03:56] <TheSpookanist> "They're not exactly tacticians. They appear to be blitzing in a straight line and powering through the Israelis with the armour up front. Just follow the craters and you should have a good idea."
[18:04:33] <SpookyBee> "Could we halt 'em by taking the armor out first? Block 'em off with their own tanks?"
[18:04:47] <TheRaven> "Usually that's what they say to the team coming in after us…"
[18:04:52] <TheSpookanist> "If you can catch up, but that's not looking very feasible."
[18:05:52] <SpookyBee> "Right."
[18:06:40] <TheSpookanist> "Any more questions? Because the sooner we move out the less resistance we'll meet once we hit the city."
[18:06:54] <SpookyBee> "None from me… I'm all set and ready."
[18:07:15] <TheRaven> "Let's get moving."
[18:07:31] <Daedalus> "Help if we knew his general location," John marks a general location on the map, "Well, from here looks it's it's a straight shot into the city. We'll probably find him behind the front lines."
[18:07:42] <Daedalus> He nods, "Yea, let's go."
[18:09:00] <Soulless> Rolf nods alongside.
[18:09:07] <TheSpookanist> They're set out in a smaller craft, a few similar carrying artillery pieces to the shore. Perception, all.
[18:09:37] <SpookyBee> 4df+4 PERCEPTION
[18:09:38] <Glacon> SpookyBee: PERCEPTION: 2 (4df+4=0, -, -, 0)
[18:09:51] <Daedalus> 4df+8
[18:09:52] <Glacon> Daedalus: 6 (4df+8=-, -, 0, 0)
[18:10:48] <TheRaven> 4df+3 eye
[18:10:48] <Glacon> TheRaven: eye: 2 (4df+3=0, -, -, +)
[18:11:18] <Soulless> 4df+5 something like a seeing
[18:11:18] <Glacon> Soulless: something like a seeing: 5 (4df+5=0, -, 0, +)
[18:13:20] <TheSpookanist> Mostly it just looks like ruined or burned trucks from whatever security forces got to the shore in time to meet their unfortunate fate. Rolf catches a glimpse of something in a forest camo pattern; North will see that it looks a bit more military, and largely intact. As they close in, its windows are bloodied, the rest mostly hidden behind a building.
[18:14:18] <SpookyBee> Ethel checks her feed and loads a magazine into her M3, keeping her eyes open.
[18:15:14] <TheRaven> Will decides to scan around for any active thaumic signatures, if that's any use in a region like Israel.
[18:15:17] <Daedalus> John loads his Ithaca, "Poor bastards."
[18:15:57] <Soulless> "Why not try this one?"
[18:15:59] <TheSpookanist> Not much to report, Agent Cassidy. It all seems mundane around here.
[18:16:31] <SpookyBee> "… Try this what?" Her attention moves to Rolf!
[18:16:43] <Daedalus> "We've got trucks, if that helps. Don't know how I feel about driving into a warzone."
[18:17:00] <Soulless> He motions.
[18:17:20] <TheRaven> "No thaum energy I can see…"
[18:17:25] <SpookyBee> Ethel looks over… Would she notice what Rolf's pointing out?
[18:17:35] <TheSpookanist> The forest camo sticks out to anyone looking right at it. Not exactly a very green area.
[18:18:41] <SpookyBee> "… Yeah, let's check that out."
[18:19:53] <TheSpookanist> Once they get on shore and move in, they can see its full extent after rounding a corner: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/XVCITNy1Yb0/hqdefault.jpg The driver and passenger both appear to have been shot dead in the front, and whoever was on top fell out along the way.
[18:19:54] <Soulless> He follows along, keeping a lookout.
[18:20:36] <TheRaven> "Mobile rocket launcher…German, by the look of it."
[18:20:51] <SpookyBee> "… Oh boy. Will, can you check if it's loaded up?"
[18:21:01] <SpookyBee> "I don't know the first thing about rocket launchers."
[18:21:03] <Daedalus> John examines the vehicle's interior, "Whoever killed these assholes is a helluva shot."
[18:21:21] <Daedalus> "Hell, can we even drive one of these things?"
[18:21:32] <TheRaven> He examines the tubes and the cargo area
[18:21:46] <TheSpookanist> If the surroundings are any hint, John, whoever killed these assholes is also probably dead.
[18:22:14] <TheSpookanist> There's only a few rockets unspent, Will; the rest of the spares seem to have been dragged away hastily. None of them are loaded up yet.
[18:23:02] <Daedalus> "Well, if we're gonna drive something into the middle of a firefight this'd be it. I still think we should keep a low profile."
[18:23:45] <SpookyBee> "Mm… I can hop in back, there's four of us, and Will and I can probably take a bit more punishment than you two." Ethel gestures to Rolf and John!
[18:24:19] <Soulless> Rolf smiles. "Indeed."
[18:24:35] <TheRaven> "Tubes are empty, got a couple rounds but it looks like someone salvaged most of them."
[18:24:45] <Soulless> "I'll entrust keeping us all alive to you and Will, here."
[18:25:24] <Soulless> (Oh, forgot to mention, Rolf's sporting a /wicked/ sore throat, and bruises around his neck like someone tried to choke him. Also, he rubs his temples occasionally, like he's got a headache)
[18:25:47] <Daedalus> "This is probably gonna get us killed."
[18:25:51] <TheSpookanist> It's easy enough to drag the bodies out, covered in blood and… plate armour? Being the drivers, these two only have pistols.
[18:26:57] <SpookyBee> "… This bodes well."
[18:27:37] <Daedalus> "Least they were dressed for the crusade."
[18:28:00] <Daedalus> "Sure didn't do much to keep lead outta their eye sockets."
[18:28:17] <SpookyBee> "They're dressed for it. Let's see if they know how to use a sword, though."
[18:28:42] <TheRaven> "Plate's mostly good for shrapnel, anything bigger than a .32 is going straight through,:
[18:28:44] <TheRaven> "
[18:29:22] <TheSpookanist> The panzerwerfer is the team's for the taking. Will they drive on?
[18:30:58] <SpookyBee> Indeed!
[18:31:55] Daedalus [moc.rr.ser.lacos.A732A1AC-CRInys|tibbiM#moc.rr.ser.lacos.A732A1AC-CRInys|tibbiM] has quit IRC: Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client
[18:32:26] Daedalus [moc.rr.ser.lacos.A732A1AC-CRInys|tibbiM#moc.rr.ser.lacos.A732A1AC-CRInys|tibbiM] has joined #homeimprovement
[18:33:07] <TheSpookanist> It takes a while for them to drive up and into the city - through torn-up hillsides and assaulted towns with scared residents hiding in their homes - but when they close in, Perception.
[18:33:24] <Daedalus> 4df+8 If enemies still unaware
[18:33:24] <Glacon> Daedalus: If enemies still unaware: 8 (4df+8=-, +, 0, 0)
[18:33:33] <TheRaven> 4df+3
[18:33:33] <Glacon> TheRaven: 1 (4df+3=0, -, 0, -)
[18:33:48] <SpookyBee> 4df+4 MY BRAND
[18:33:48] <Glacon> SpookyBee: MY BRAND: 4 (4df+4=+, 0, 0, -)
[18:33:56] <Soulless> 4df+5 perc
[18:33:56] <Glacon> Soulless: perc: 5 (4df+5=+, -, -, +)
[18:34:43] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4
[18:34:44] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 4 (4df+4=-, 0, +, 0)
[18:35:55] <TheSpookanist> All can hear the booms of explosives and cracking of gunfire within the city, and all but Will can see, in the distance, Israeli trucks moving in. John, a glint of sunlight off metal to the left.
[18:36:12] <TheSpookanist> A few hundred yards, probably.
[18:36:19] <Daedalus> Is it daytime?
[18:37:21] <TheSpookanist> It is not. TheSpookanist forgets time zones.
[18:37:40] <Daedalus> "HEADS DOWN, SNIPER." John calls out to the rest of his teammates, ducking in the passenger's seat.
[18:38:06] <SpookyBee> Ethel puts her head beneath the edge, doing her best to duck!
[18:38:16] <TheRaven> Will drops. "Where?"
[18:38:19] <TheSpookanist> 4df+5 If only it were a sniper.
[18:38:19] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: If only it were a sniper.: 5 (4df+5=+, 0, -, 0)
[18:38:25] <Soulless> He ducks down.
[18:38:31] <SpookyBee> Well that's not good.
[18:38:33] <TheSpookanist> PDef, everyone.
[18:38:46] <Soulless> 4df+4 hahahaha rip
[18:38:46] <Glacon> Soulless: hahahaha rip: 5 (4df+4=+, -, +, 0)
[18:38:58] <SpookyBee> 4df+6 I AM TANK
[18:38:58] <Glacon> SpookyBee: I AM TANK: 4 (4df+6=-, -, 0, 0)
[18:39:15] <TheRaven> 4df+6 craaap
[18:39:15] <Glacon> TheRaven: craaap: 8 (4df+6=-, +, +, +)
[18:39:21] <Daedalus> 4df+4 Been playing too much BF1 obviously
[18:39:22] <Glacon> Daedalus: Been playing too much BF1 obviously: 3 (4df+4=0, -, 0, 0)
[18:40:27] <TheSpookanist> There's a sense of /loudness/ followed shortly by a harsh ringing as the truck is rocked, dirt kicking up to the side. Shrapnel finds its way into the car, dealing Ethel half a point and John a point of damage each.
[18:40:39] <Soulless> "Out?"
[18:41:02] <TheSpookanist> Those who can see Rolf see his lips moving. Rolf can't even hear himself yet.
[18:41:42] <SpookyBee> Ethel peeks up, and tries to find the source of the explosive shot…
[18:41:45] <SpookyBee> 4df+4 PERC
[18:41:46] <Glacon> SpookyBee: PERC: 6 (4df+4=+, +, +, -)
[18:42:10] <Daedalus> John holds his arm, feeling around for the piece of shrapnel as the dust clouds his vision and tinnitus assaults his eardrums.
[18:42:51] <TheSpookanist> Well, now that they have a better idea of where it's coming from, it's much easier to focus on the mound of a tarp with a polished metal cannon sticking out of it. Ethel, that's a /big/ cannon.
[18:43:02] <TheSpookanist> Looks like it's attached to a big tank.
[18:43:31] <Daedalus> "TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD FUCKING IDEA!" John shouts over his deafness.
[18:43:47] <SpookyBee> "… There's armor up on the hill, looks like a tank hunter!" Ethel looks about… Is the path from them to said tank relatively clear?
[18:44:04] <TheSpookanist> Hearing is starting to come back as the tank reloads, tracking them steadily.
[18:44:16] <TheSpookanist> There's some buildings to hide behind if you back up a bit.
[18:44:19] <Daedalus> Is there anywhere to take cover.
[18:44:22] <Daedalus> ?
[18:44:48] <Soulless> Rolf clutches his head, ugh, his headache is just getting worse.
[18:45:01] <TheSpookanist> Yes. There's also some cover further up, but whether the car can reach it before another shot rings off is a question.
[18:45:10] <TheSpookanist> Time runs short to make a decision.
[18:45:15] <Daedalus> Individually take cover, so the tank doesn't kill all of them.
[18:45:23] <Daedalus> Sitting in the giant metal deathtrap.
[18:45:43] <TheSpookanist> That would also be a good plan. Getting out of the giant metal deathtrap means you could get into the buildings.
[18:45:57] <TheSpookanist> However, tick tock.
[18:45:58] <Soulless> Rolf begins to move out, and motions for everyone else to get out.
[18:46:13] <SpookyBee> 4df+4 PERC Ethel looks for an advanced position where she can take cover, herself.
[18:46:13] <Glacon> SpookyBee: PERC Ethel looks for an advanced position where she can take cover, herself.: 4 (4df+4=0, -, +, 0)
[18:46:16] <Daedalus> John helps Rolf out, heading for the nearest building.
[18:46:54] <TheSpookanist> There are places up ahead, little ruins of buildings on the outskirts, but dashing to them would be a chore.
[18:47:16] <SpookyBee> Ethel frowns, before heading to John and Rolf's location!
[18:48:00] <TheSpookanist> Tick tock goes the clock and there's a significant sense of doom - assuming Will follows with the rest, however, they all get clear before their rocket truck explodes violently, the ammunition inside cooking off.
[18:48:27] <TheRaven> Yeah, he hauls the fuck out of there.
[18:48:58] <Daedalus> "I"m thinking…" John says as he catches his breath, "Maybe it's time we use that artillery if we can't find a way out."
[18:49:46] <Daedalus> He looks around. What's the ruins like?
[18:49:50] <SpookyBee> "Mmm… That sounds like a plan. But I was thinking of trying to make my way around to that tank. We could probably use it, if we don't need to crack it."
[18:50:25] <TheRaven> "…you're not taking on a tank with a Grease Gun and a sword."
[18:50:34] <TheSpookanist> It seems to be a small residence, or it was before the owners cleared out through the north door, apparently dragging some possessions along with them.
[18:50:40] <SpookyBee> "… I was thinkin' of using my head."
[18:50:41] <TheSpookanist> Single story.
[18:50:44] <Daedalus> "Are you fucking nuts?! Even if you could do that shit we'd be another fucking target."
[18:50:57] <TheSpookanist> 1d6
[18:50:58] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 4 (1d6=4)
[18:51:08] <Soulless> Rolf keeps a lookout for anyone that could be overhearing.
[18:52:10] <Daedalus> "Let's just keep going. We'll be less conspicuous if we walk."
[18:52:25] <TheSpookanist> The tank fires off again, Part of the east-most wall about halfway through the house crumbles, but there's no boom. Instead, there's a round embedded in the floor between you all and the north door.
[18:52:25] <SpookyBee> Ethel draws her pistol, loading her hexes and cocking the hammer. "Well, we'll only be a target after the first shot."
[18:52:36] <TheRaven> "…oh /fuck/."
[18:52:48] <SpookyBee> "…" Ethel looks at the round- "… Solid steel?"
[18:53:15] <Daedalus> "Let's fucking move!"
[18:53:23] <TheRaven> "Dud round, move!"
[18:53:49] <Daedalus> John heads out through an exit opposite the shell.
[18:54:01] <SpookyBee> Ethel nods, getting up and rushing after John!
[18:54:23] <TheRaven> Will follows, getting the fuck away from that shell.
[18:54:32] <Soulless> Rolf moves.
[18:55:38] <Daedalus> John moves between the ruins of the houses as quickly as he can. Is there anyway to just run in a large circle around the tank?
[18:56:39] <TheSpookanist> There's a window suitable for that exit. It wouldn't be the greatest or most covered route, but they could just go around the tank, yes.
[18:56:48] <SpookyBee> "Still, we should try to take out that crew!"
[18:57:17] <Soulless> "If you have suggestions I'm sure we'd be open to them."
[18:57:35] <Daedalus> John looks to the window, "Maybe we can distract it, and the rest of us can go around."
[18:57:56] <Daedalus> "That way we don't all have to be playing hot potato."
[18:59:06] <Soulless> "I am good at that."
[19:00:01] <Daedalus> "If you're sure." John looks to the rest of them, "Any other volunteers?"
[19:00:22] <SpookyBee> "What's the plan when we're around?"
[19:00:44] <Daedalus> "Regroup, try to find the bishop. Probably where the most guards are."
[19:01:13] <SpookyBee> Ethel nods- "I can try to make my way around with someone else, then."
[19:02:07] <Daedalus> "You take Rolf. I'll take eyepatch. Everyone got the plan?"
[19:02:13] <TheSpookanist> Another round lands in the house - this one explodes. Anyone with two cents of military knowledge can tell that's a big damn tank.
[19:03:30] <SpookyBee> She nods, tapping Rolf's shoulder to affirm!
[19:05:20] <Daedalus> "Ready?… 3… 2…" John counts down with his fingers, and then makes a dash for the window with Will, if he follows.
[19:05:27] <TheRaven> He does!
[19:06:30] <SpookyBee> Ethel hops up, and starts to try and make a circle around and out of the tank's view-cone
[19:07:07] <Soulless> Rolf makes himself into view and pretends that he is sneaking very poorly.
[19:07:24] <Soulless> 4df+5 (bluff)
[19:07:25] <Glacon> Soulless: (bluff): 7 (4df+5=+, +, -, +)
[19:07:46] <TheSpookanist> It seems to be focused on the house for now. Someone's popped out of the hatch up top with a pair of binoculars.
[19:08:12] <SpookyBee> Are they looking towards Ethel?
[19:08:13] <TheSpookanist> There's shouting as Rolf exits, and the cannon begins to turn, dragging the tarp partly off the tank's treads.
[19:08:25] <TheSpookanist> If she's with Rolf, they are now.
[19:08:39] <SpookyBee> Ethel focuses on the Spotter…
[19:09:15] <SpookyBee> How far away are they?
[19:09:31] <TheSpookanist> A few hundred yards still, maybe around a thousand feet.
[19:10:01] <SpookyBee> Shit… Ethel continues making her dash around the tank!
[19:10:33] <Daedalus> John continues through the window and onto the other side.
[19:11:14] <TheSpookanist> They seem to be looking at Rolf for the most part. Shots are fired from a pistol, but it's not hitting a damn thing from this range.
[19:13:56] <TheSpookanist> Rolf has a bit to make a decision before the tank has time to fire.
[19:14:28] <SpookyBee> Ethel reholsters her pistol as she runs- She'll draw it when she needs to shoot.
[19:17:11] <Soulless> Rolf makes a hard dash away from the grou and to another, relatively nearby building to hide.
[19:17:39] <Soulless> He waves to the people shooting at him just to be obnoxious.
[19:18:08] <TheSpookanist> Agility, Rolf.
[19:18:41] <Soulless> 4df+2 Rolf hopes no one will miss him.
[19:18:41] <Glacon> Soulless: Rolf hopes no one will miss him.: 3 (4df+2=0, 0, +, 0)
[19:19:09] <TheSpookanist> Oh boy, PDef.
[19:19:38] <Soulless> 4df+4 This is how Rolf dies, guys
[19:19:38] <Glacon> Soulless: This is how Rolf dies, guys: 5 (4df+4=+, +, 0, -)
[19:21:23] <TheSpookanist> Surprisingly, either due to the crew's inexperience or some miracle, Rolf just outpaces the shell as it lands behind him. He's pumped full of shrapnel, temporarily deaf, and thrown through a door, but alive - albeit dazed for the moment. 3 PHealth gone; he'll regain consciousness relatively soon.
[19:21:39] <Daedalus> John comes up behind the tank if it's distracted enough. Sneak?
[19:21:56] <SpookyBee> Ethel stops, looking back at Rolf… How far is she from the armor?
[19:21:59] <TheSpookanist> Ethel, they've lost track of you, instead cheering at their hit. Sounds like Italian. Go for it, Jogn.
[19:22:25] <TheSpookanist> In that time, a good bit of distance has been crossed for all parties, not quite there. But the crew is busy.
[19:22:40] <Daedalus> 4df+6 SNEAKING UNAWARES
[19:22:40] <Glacon> Daedalus: SNEAKING UNAWARES: 7 (4df+6=0, +, +, -)
[19:23:07] <TheRaven> "…what the hell was he trying there?"
[19:24:00] <SpookyBee> Ethel draws her pistol once more cocking the hammer- "… Being loud and presenting."
[19:25:20] <TheSpookanist> Sneak to avoid being spotted by now, Ethel and Will. John's almost there already.
[19:25:42] <SpookyBee> 4df+4 SNEAK while that wasn't exactly the plan yet…
[19:25:42] <Glacon> SpookyBee: SNEAK while that wasn't exactly the plan yet…: 5 (4df+4=+, 0, 0, 0)
[19:26:04] <TheRaven> 4df ahahaha no
[19:26:05] <Glacon> TheRaven: ahahaha no: -1 (4df=0, -, +, -)
[19:26:06] <TheSpookanist> Unless they're in cover in the ruins, of course.
[19:26:18] <SpookyBee> Ethel's suuuper not in cover…
[19:26:24] <TheSpookanist> John's booking it, evidently; what are these two doing?
[19:26:51] <SpookyBee> She was making her way around the tank!
[19:27:26] <TheSpookanist> Will is following?
[19:28:30] <TheRaven> Will is sticking to cover, he's not much use for sneaking.
[19:29:21] <TheSpookanist> Ethel and John both make it up to the tank unseen under the cover of night, then. The sentry up top is still looking around, right over their heads.
[19:29:37] <SpookyBee> Ethel puts her focus on the sentry…
[19:29:55] <Soulless> When does Rolf regain consciousness?
[19:29:58] <Daedalus> John trains his shotgun on the sentry.
[19:30:19] <SpookyBee> 4df+3 Tear Drinker - Psychic Illusion
[19:30:19] <Glacon> SpookyBee: Tear Drinker - Psychic Illusion: 1 (4df+3=0, -, 0, -)
[19:30:25] <TheSpookanist> About now, actually. There's a pair of frightened locals, a couple, leaning over him with worried expressions.
[19:30:32] <SpookyBee> Ouch… MDef to defend against psychic attack!
[19:30:59] <TheSpookanist> 4df+3
[19:31:00] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 4 (4df+3=+, 0, -, +)
[19:31:28] <SpookyBee> Aaand nothing happens, much to Ethel's irritation… She nods to John!
[19:32:17] <Daedalus> John quickly climbs up the side of the tank and pumps the man full of beanbag rounds at point blank range.
[19:32:21] <Daedalus> 4df+3
[19:32:22] <Glacon> Daedalus: 5 (4df+3=0, 0, +, +)
[19:33:02] <TheSpookanist> 4df+3 Oh dear
[19:33:09] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Oh dear: 0 (4df+3=0, -, -, -)
[19:34:40] <TheSpookanist> The beanbag slams into the metal with an amusing ringing noise, its wearer shouting in Italian with great fright before shutting the hatch, the tank rapidly backing up. The tarp flies off, revealing a Panzerjaeger Tiger - or Elefant, as they're commonly known.
[19:35:13] <TheRaven> "…"
[19:36:20] <SpookyBee> Ethel climbs her way onto the tank before it can get too far, holding her revolver… She /could/ try to tear the hatch off… Oh the perks of superhumanity.
[19:36:52] <TheSpookanist> More shouting from inside that no one here understands. Agility, Ethel!
[19:36:59] <Soulless> Once Rolf is up and awake he gets himself some cover while he figures out what is happening. (What is happening)
[19:37:02] <SpookyBee> 4df+3 AGI!
[19:37:02] <Glacon> SpookyBee: AGI!: 1 (4df+3=-, -, +, -)
[19:37:06] <SpookyBee> Sheeit
[19:37:23] <TheSpookanist> A pair of local Israelis are leaning over Rolf, looking worried.
[19:37:44] <Daedalus> John is standing a few dozen feet away with a shotgun, Will is hiding behind some cover, and Ethel is currently attempting to climb onto a tank
[19:37:59] <Daedalus> Dozen feet away from the tank*
[19:38:16] <TheSpookanist> Ethel gets rocked off the Elefant by its going over rough terrain and a panicked swivel of its turret, slamming it into the side of a nearby building.
[19:38:53] <SpookyBee> Ethel falls with a grunt, but follows by a chuckle at the crew's incompetence… She gets back to her feet!
[19:38:56] <Daedalus> John understands Italian; what are they saying?
[19:39:10] <SpookyBee> Are any of the tank's viewfinders visible to Ethel?
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[19:40:04] <TheSpookanist> It's something along the lines of "[The turret! The turret, you moron, turn it!]"
[19:40:08] <TheRaven> If Will could notice any, he'd probably lay down suppressing fire on it
[19:40:30] <TheSpookanist> They both can, likely.
[19:40:51] <SpookyBee> At point-blank range, Ethel fires her revolver into the viewing ports! Well, one of them, at least.
[19:41:03] <SpookyBee> 4df+7 RNG+MG
[19:41:03] <Glacon> SpookyBee: RNG+MG: 8 (4df+7=0, -, +, +)
[19:41:27] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4
[19:41:28] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 5 (4df+4=0, 0, 0, +)
[19:41:31] <TheSpookanist> 4df+2
[19:41:32] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 2 (4df+2=-, +, -, +)
[19:42:39] <TheSpookanist> Ethel hears a wet thunk and a panicked scream from one of the crew as she finds her mark. The tank continues backing up as fast as it can.
[19:43:07] <Daedalus> John, meanwhile, runs out of range of the tank and tends to Rolf.
[19:43:14] <TheRaven> 4df+8 and since that trips Will's spec, he lets off a burst at the viewport as well
[19:43:14] <Glacon> TheRaven: and since that trips Will's spec, he lets off a burst at the viewport as well: 7 (4df+8=+, -, 0, -)
[19:43:31] <SpookyBee> ~Nice.~ Ethel regains her footing, now, and tries to scramble onto it… Roll AGI to catch up and climb onto one of the sides?
[19:44:34] <TheSpookanist> Sure thing.
[19:45:02] <SpookyBee> 4df+6 AGI+Personal Training that I forgot to tag earlier for climbing
[19:45:03] <Glacon> SpookyBee: AGI+Personal Training that I forgot to tag earlier for climbing: 5 (4df+6=-, +, 0, -)
[19:45:03] <TheSpookanist> Will manages to get a lot of shots in that clang against the metal at the back and almost certainly defean the crew, but there's no red anymore.
[19:45:10] <Daedalus> "You alright?" John asks Rolf, "Can you stand?"
[19:45:43] <TheSpookanist> The locals quickly retreat to a corner of their home away from Rolf and John once help arrives.
[19:45:49] <TheSpookanist> Ethel manages to get onto the tank!
[19:45:53] <Soulless> Rolf smiles. "Oh, I'm fine. My suit on the other hand, has seen better days." He laughs, but then winces.
[19:46:15] <Soulless> Rolf waves off the locals with a kind enough smile. "I'm a little disoriented."
[19:46:33] <SpookyBee> She scrambles onto the turret! Can she make the world's most ridiculous Strength roll to try and pull the hatch open?
[19:46:54] <Soulless> "What's going on?"
[19:48:07] <TheSpookanist> Well, uh, she can attempt this, yes.
[19:48:21] <Daedalus> "Well, crazy girl's on the tank. Eyepatch is somewhere around here firing at the tank. And I'm here. C'mon." He tries to help Rolf up, "We got a mission to do."
[19:48:30] <SpookyBee> 4df+5 STR Ethel does just that, then!
[19:48:30] <Glacon> SpookyBee: STR Ethel does just that, then!: 7 (4df+5=0, +, 0, +)
[19:48:44] <SpookyBee> That went better than expected, actually.
[19:49:38] <TheSpookanist> And it was also almost completely unnecessary, as the hatch wasn't locked. There's shouting as bullets fly out of the hatch. Agility.
[19:50:21] <SpookyBee> 4df+3 AGI, though bullets are the last thing she's worried about while she tank-surfs…
[19:50:40] <Glacon> SpookyBee: AGI, though bullets are the last thing she's worried about while she tank-surfs…: 3 (4df+3=0, -, 0, +)
[19:51:37] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4 A submachine gun fires off. Those inside shout their displeasure at this.
[19:51:37] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: A submachine gun fires off. Those inside shout their displeasure at this.: 2 (4df+4=+, -, -, -)
[19:51:57] <TheSpookanist> Ethel manages to swing out of the way as the tank rocks over some terrain. Good on her.
[19:52:03] <Soulless> Rolf allows himself to be helped up. "Where to?"
[19:54:08] <SpookyBee> "I should'a knocked first… Right. How rude of me." Ethel straightens up, before reholstering her pistol and drawing her sword- It's a rather large Bastard Sword, made of anomalous ceramic-like material…
[19:54:38] <SpookyBee> 4df+6 She makes a move to plunge the blade into the open hatch, trying to hit, well, anyone that happens to be beneath
[19:54:39] <Glacon> SpookyBee: She makes a move to plunge the blade into the open hatch, trying to hit, well, anyone that happens to be beneath: 8 (4df+6=+, +, 0, 0)
[19:54:58] <TheSpookanist> 4df+3 This is
[19:54:59] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: This is: 3 (4df+3=0, +, -, 0)
[19:55:05] <Daedalus> "Further in, if you're feeling up for it."
[19:55:09] <TheSpookanist> 4df+3 Unfortunate.
[19:55:10] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Unfortunate.: 2 (4df+3=-, -, 0, +)
[19:56:13] <TheSpookanist> Well, she completely skewers, the sentry who had popped up earlier and the unconscious gunner beneath him. As she's freeing her sword, the driver and radio worker pile out behind her, in that order. She can probably catch the latter if she wants.
[19:56:52] <Soulless> "Yes, I'll be fine. Let's go to the rendevouz place."
[19:56:55] <Soulless> "No one is hurt?"
[19:57:15] <Soulless> He is up and moving, surprisingly well. He may be bluffing how much injury he actually has.
[19:57:16] <Daedalus> "No one but you, pal. You took a fuckin' hit."
[19:57:21] <SpookyBee> And that's just what she tries to do- "I've got a delivery…" She pulls the pistol! "Sign here, please?"
[19:57:30] <Soulless> He smiles. "Oh, it was nothing. I'm just fine…"
[19:57:35] <SpookyBee> 4df+7 Bang bang, this happens when people have guns and don't like each other
[19:57:35] <Glacon> SpookyBee: Bang bang, this happens when people have guns and don't like each other: 7 (4df+7=0, 0, 0, 0)
[19:57:44] <Daedalus> John goes with Rolf where Will is hiding.
[19:58:03] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4
[19:58:04] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 4 (4df+4=-, -, +, +)
[19:58:10] <TheSpookanist> 4df+3 oh
[19:58:11] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: oh: 2 (4df+3=-, -, 0, +)
[19:58:11] <SpookyBee> Particularly, she goes for non-lethal this time- Around the legs.
[19:58:36] <Soulless> "Ethel is doing quite a job." He comments once they get with Will.
[19:59:11] <TheSpookanist> .45 shreds the plating behind his legs and he drops into the bottom of the tank, crying. The driver bails out and runs into the city.
[19:59:30] <TheRaven> "She's…scary."
[19:59:42] <SpookyBee> Ethel grins, watching the driver run off! "Well… That settles that." She abandons the tank, to go meet up with her team!
[19:59:46] <Soulless> "It's wonderful she's on our side."
[19:59:52] <Daedalus> He also hails Ethel, "Grindsler. We're at the rendezvous point."
[20:00:10] <Daedalus> "Well, that was… something."
[20:00:12] <SpookyBee> "Mhmm. On the way." She nodnods and heads off!
[20:00:39] <Daedalus> "We're still no closer to finding Bishop and his magic lamp."
[20:00:54] <SpookyBee> "Yeah… Oh, hey, which one of you said I couldn't take the tank with a sword?"
[20:01:06] <SpookyBee> Snappy banter.
[20:01:31] <Daedalus> "We still have a mission keep your head on and your tounge in your mouth."
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[20:01:37] <TheSpookanist> Any nearby threats are neutralised, and the Israeli forces just got a hell of an easier time closing in. Also, despite all odds, if any of you can figure out how to drive a tank…
[20:02:23] <SpookyBee> "Right… Well, that armor's empty and un-harmed, so… Anyone here have a license to pilot ordnance?"
[20:03:02] <TheRaven> "Tanks are fairly simple, aren't they? No worse than the halftrack…"
[20:03:22] <Daedalus> "You wanna get into another deathtrap?"
[20:03:44] <Soulless> "Is it not possible to pretend we're one of them?"
[20:04:45] <TheRaven> "Unless they brought air support, nothing's killing that."
[20:05:26] <Daedalus> "Hmm." He shrugs, "Beats walking."
[20:05:37] <Daedalus> John examines the tank controls.
[20:05:44] <SpookyBee> "German tanks are groovy, North…" Ethel keeps her eyes open, before leading the way back to the tank- "Mind the carpet, he's got lead in his thighs."
[20:05:52] <TheSpookanist> Engineering, John.
[20:06:11] <Daedalus> 4df+0 I can drive a regular car
[20:06:11] <Glacon> Daedalus: I can drive a regular car: 0 (4df+0=+, 0, 0, -)
[20:06:35] <TheSpookanist> John has not the slightest damn crew how to drive this thing.
[20:06:48] <TheSpookanist> Also, there's a whimpering, bleeding Italian in full plate on the floor of the tank.
[20:06:55] <TheSpookanist> Along with two corpses.
[20:07:10] <Daedalus> "Not the slightest damn crew how to drive this thin- oh, shit. We need a medic over here!"
[20:07:41] <SpookyBee> Ethel crosses her arms, watching the scene. "Will, how're you with tanks?"
[20:08:28] <TheRaven> "I /think/ I can get it moving, lemme see…"
[20:08:36] <TheRaven> 4df+3 engi
[20:08:36] <Glacon> TheRaven: engi: 2 (4df+3=-, 0, +, -)
[20:10:40] <TheSpookanist> Having been in the war, Will at least has /an/ idea of how to work /a/ tank. A German model might be tricky, considering he fought the Japanese, but he can make it move. Just not very well.
[20:11:26] <TheSpookanist> John may realise they did /not/ bring a medic.
[20:11:30] <Soulless> Can Rolf talk to the Italian?
[20:11:41] <TheRaven> "Not sure about anything fancier, but I think I can drive it, at least."
[20:12:00] <TheSpookanist> He can attempt to, but seeing as he doesn't know any it's not a sure shot the guy will know either of his languages.
[20:12:53] <Soulless> "Does anyone here know some Italian?"
[20:13:53] <SpookyBee> "I only speak two languages, and none of them are Italian…" Ethel shruggles a little, frowning.
[20:14:23] <Soulless> Rolf tries his hand at some German. "[Speak a lick of Germon?]"
[20:15:01] <TheSpookanist> "[Eh, ah- German, yes, a little…]"
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[20:15:40] <TheSpookanist> John is near the bleeding man, yes?
[20:15:45] <Soulless> Rolf smiles. "He speaks my tongue. Let's see if he's willing to drive us."
[20:15:53] <Soulless> "Give me and him some air, please."
[20:16:03] <Daedalus> He is!
[20:16:44] <TheSpookanist> "[And I will /never/…]" His speech goes back to Italian. Perc, Rolf.
[20:16:57] <soulonphone> 4df+5
[20:17:00] <Glacon> soulonphone: 6 (4df+5=+, -, +, 0)
[20:17:31] <TheSpookanist> Hey, rolf, there's something in his hand- round and dull gre- Rolf, moving is advised, very quickly.
[20:18:09] <soulonphone> Can he roll bluff or persuasion as he moves?
[20:18:24] <TheSpookanist> He can, but it likely won't matter in a second.
[20:19:41] <soulonphone> 4df+7(spec) "[wait, you're making a mistake, I'm not one of them, not actually-]"
[20:19:52] <soulonphone> He moves out of the way tho.
[20:20:03] <soulonphone> 4df+7
[20:20:03] <Glacon> soulonphone: 8 (4df+7=-, +, +, 0)
[20:21:29] <TheSpookanist> Unfortunately for Rolf, or more specifically John, the pin was already pulled. Fortunately for the rest of the temporarily deaf team, John protects them with himself, taking four points of PHealth damage and getting knocked the /fuck/ unconscious next to Will.
[20:21:55] <Daedalus> :O
[20:22:22] <TheSpookanist> He seems to have absorbed most of the fragments, along with his friend the detonator, whose clutched hand is now spread out throughout the tank.
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[20:22:47] <TheRaven> "…HOLY CHRIST, MEDIC!"
[20:23:28] <TheSpookanist> To save a bit of time, the team manages to stabilise John and get the tank underway.
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[20:23:56] <soulonphone> Damn. He goes to John. "Hey? Shit. We need…" he gets his radio and tries to contact the Israelis. <Hello? Psi-7… we're in need of medical assistance.>
[20:24:40] <TheSpookanist> «Copy that Psi-7, sending a truck for evac.» John'll be successfully exfiltrated through the way they entered.
[20:28:43] <SpookyBee> Ethel remains in the tank
[20:29:04] <soulonphone> Rolf waits for the truck, to get himself patched up as well. "Just the three of us?"
[20:29:44] <TheSpookanist> Just the three of you, should you wish to take on the Bishop in one of the most heavily-armoured vehicles around.
[20:31:43] <TheRaven> "Well, and a tank."
[20:32:11] <SpookyBee> "We'll be fine. Let's get going."
[20:32:20] <Soulless> "We'll need you to drive it… That leaves only Ethel to fight."
[20:32:36] <Soulless> 4df Rolf gives a curory glance at the thing.
[20:32:36] <Glacon> Soulless: Rolf gives a curory glance at the thing.: 2 (4df=-, +, +, +)
[20:32:38] <SpookyBee> "… Okay /I'll/ be fine, then."
[20:33:19] <TheSpookanist> Rolf can figure out the very basics.
[20:34:34] <Soulless> "I can drive it. Somewhat. I think."
[20:34:48] <Soulless> "That will leave the two useful people to be useful." He laughs.
[20:34:51] <Soulless> Then winces.
[20:37:37] <SpookyBee> "Let's get going, then."
[20:39:22] <Soulless> How much is Rolf patched up for?
[20:39:31] <TheSpookanist> With Rolf on the wheel and Ethel and Will either gunning or spotting, they set off. They encounter infantry on their way up, not a threat to them and paying them no attention, fighting with the Israelis, soldier and civilian alike. They were well-prepared for an assault from Jordan, but not so much for an attack from the west.
[20:39:42] <TheSpookanist> Rolf gains 1 PHealth, leaving him at 5.
[20:40:06] <SpookyBee> Ethel does do spotting, as she's not quite good with guns.
[20:40:33] <TheRaven> Will gets on the ball-mount MG34…the cannon is complex and being saved for later.
[20:41:19] <Soulless> Rolf just drives, without looking cool, because he's lame/.
[20:43:01] <TheSpookanist> +3 RNG to Will from the combination of a heavy and mounted weapon and the lack of worry that comes from being in a goddamn tank. Soon, if they follow to the more peaceful spots, they'll find a large building taken over with vertical white banners with red crosses over them. Looks like the place.
[20:43:20] <TheRaven> "…yeah, I think that's probably it."
[20:44:47] <TheSpookanist> Although the Israeli government will not be too happy about the property damage, it looks like they could ram the front door without collapsing the entire structure.
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[20:53:14] SpookaniDamnit [~moc.rr.ser.nas.5D0EFFAA-CRInys|akoopSehT#moc.rr.ser.nas.5D0EFFAA-CRInys|akoopSehT] has joined #homeimprovement
[20:53:14] Channel topic is: I don't think so, Tim… | Cars go vroom vroom | http://i.imgur.com/luhUwvO.jpg
[20:53:14] Topic was set by Scantron on Sat Jun 6 09:53:17 2015
[20:53:20] <Soulless> "Shall we ram it?"
[20:53:45] <SpookyBee> "Sure, why not?"
[20:53:52] logik.ca.us.synirc.net [*@*] has set channel mode +sntr
[20:53:52] Channel was created at Mon Dec 23 11:38:10 2013
[20:53:55] Channel synchronized in 40.0 seconds
[20:54:05] <Soulless> Rolf hits the… gas??? and rams the thing. "Ok!@"
[20:54:31] TheSpookanist [~moc.rr.ser.nas.5D0EFFAA-CRInys|akoopSehT#moc.rr.ser.nas.5D0EFFAA-CRInys|akoopSehT] has quit IRC: Ping timeout: 180 seconds
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[20:54:55] SpookaniDamnit [~moc.rr.ser.nas.5D0EFFAA-CRInys|akoopSehT#moc.rr.ser.nas.5D0EFFAA-CRInys|akoopSehT] is now known as TheSpookanist
[20:56:26] <TheSpookanist> The tank plows into the building without a problem, crushing a pair of guards outside and bursting into a dining hall with a long table covered in decadent food, the bishop in question at the head of the table in full armour, the lantern hanging from his neck. He shouts angry Italian as he and his minions rise, about a half dozen in here with him as he draws a sword.
[20:56:57] <TheRaven> Will fires a burst over their heads with the MG.
[20:57:32] <SpookyBee> Ethel climbs out of the Elefant, brandishing her own fancy shmancy sword! Wee!
[20:57:51] <TheSpookanist> They duck down in fear, but their leader shouts them into action, ending with a cry of "DEUS VULT!" as he charges across the table at the tank.
[20:58:05] <TheSpookanist> Ethel is the first to be fired on, then!
[20:58:08] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4
[20:58:09] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4
[20:58:09] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 3 (4df+4=-, +, -, 0)
[20:58:09] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 1 (4df+4=-, 0, -, -)
[20:58:21] <SpookyBee> 4df+6 PDEF Ethel smash
[20:58:22] <Glacon> SpookyBee: PDEF Ethel smash: 7 (4df+6=-, +, 0, +)
[20:58:31] <TheSpookanist> Fortunately for Ethel, these guys skipped basic training.
[20:59:16] <TheSpookanist> Four sword-wielding maniacs, including the bishop, charge the tank, two riflemen in the back with someone in considerably more opulent clothing, swinging a censer and chanting in loud Latin.
[20:59:56] <TheSpookanist> PC turn.
[21:00:09] <SpookyBee> Ethel focuses on one of the riflemen…
[21:00:33] <Soulless> is there a way to peek out and shoot and then duck back down?
[21:00:42] <SpookyBee> 4df+3 Tear Drinker - Corruption "~Your brothers are your enemies.~"
[21:00:42] <Glacon> SpookyBee: Tear Drinker - Corruption "~Your brothers are your enemies.~": 2 (4df+3=+, -, 0, -)
[21:01:20] <SpookyBee> (Mdef to defend against p much any of her TD powers)
[21:01:39] <TheSpookanist> 4df+3 Defense against the darkness
[21:01:41] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Defense against the darkness: 3 (4df+3=0, 0, 0, 0)
[21:01:53] <SpookyBee> They must have a strong patronis!
[21:02:22] <TheSpookanist> Will?
[21:02:57] <TheRaven> 4df+9 he opens up with a burst directed at the Bishop
[21:02:58] <Glacon> TheRaven: he opens up with a burst directed at the Bishop: 10 (4df+9=+, 0, -, +)
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[21:03:45] <Soulless> Rolf pops out, if possible, and shoots for the censer.
[21:03:48] <Soulless> 4df+4 pew pew
[21:03:49] <Glacon> Soulless: pew pew: 3 (4df+4=-, -, +, 0)
[21:03:58] <TheSpookanist> 4df+12 Bishop stronk, bishop buffed
[21:03:58] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Bishop stronk, bishop buffed: 12 (4df+12=+, +, -, -)
[21:04:33] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4 Considerably less buffed bishop
[21:04:34] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Considerably less buffed bishop: 3 (4df+4=-, 0, +, -)
[21:05:11] <TheSpookanist> Rolf manages to hit the censer as its wielder steps quickly to the side, reducing the effects he'll have on his allies.
[21:05:41] <TheSpookanist> Enemy turn.
[21:06:01] <TheSpookanist> The sword-wielders close in swiftly on the tank, but aren't quite there yet.
[21:06:14] <TheSpookanist> 4df+7 Rifle at Ethel
[21:06:14] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Rifle at Ethel: 5 (4df+7=-, 0, -, 0)
[21:06:23] <TheSpookanist> 4df+7 Rifle at Will
[21:06:24] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Rifle at Will: 6 (4df+7=-, 0, 0, 0)
[21:06:48] <SpookyBee> 4df+6 PDEF Ethel is kind of stronk, she can tank gun
[21:06:48] <Glacon> SpookyBee: PDEF Ethel is kind of stronk, she can tank gun: 5 (4df+6=-, -, +, 0)
[21:07:24] <TheSpookanist> Ethel's cheek gets clipped by a pair of 7.62 rounds, reducing her PHealth by 1.
[21:07:41] <SpookyBee> (Weren't the rolls equal? >.>)
[21:08:04] <TheRaven> 4df+6 wait, isn't he in a tank
[21:08:04] <Glacon> TheRaven: wait, isn't he in a tank: 5 (4df+6=-, 0, 0, 0)
[21:09:01] <TheSpookanist> Ethel's cheek does no such thing, and Will gets considerable bonuses to not being shot for being in a tank, yes.
[21:09:41] <TheSpookanist> PC turn again.
[21:10:22] <TheRaven> 4df+9 more bullets at the Bishop
[21:10:22] <Glacon> TheRaven: more bullets at the Bishop: 7 (4df+9=-, -, 0, 0)
[21:10:38] <Soulless> Is the censer still in operation? no?
[21:10:43] <SpookyBee> Ethel charges with her sword, slashing at the nearest EVIL MINION!
[21:10:48] <SpookyBee> 4df+6 MEL WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
[21:10:48] <Glacon> SpookyBee: MEL WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!: 4 (4df+6=0, -, 0, -)
[21:10:57] <TheSpookanist> 4df+9 Less buffed anti-pope bishop
[21:10:58] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Less buffed anti-pope bishop: 5 (4df+9=-, -, -, -)
[21:11:05] <SpookyBee> …
[21:11:16] <TheSpookanist> The censer is no longer in operation, but that priest appears to be motivating his allies still.
[21:11:52] <Soulless> 4df+4 he attempts to shoot the priest, aiming for the head or a limb to disable him.
[21:11:52] <Glacon> Soulless: he attempts to shoot the priest, aiming for the head or a limb to disable him.: 1 (4df+4=-, 0, -, -)
[21:11:55] <Soulless> rip
[21:11:58] <TheSpookanist> 4df+7 Devout minion
[21:11:59] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Devout minion: 7 (4df+7=-, -, +, +)
[21:12:03] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4 Priest
[21:12:04] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Priest: 5 (4df+4=+, +, 0, -)
[21:13:33] <TheSpookanist> Will's rounds chip away at and pierce the anti-pope's armour, but all the same he charges, on top of the tank now, albeit bleeding.
[21:14:33] <TheSpookanist> Enemy turn!
[21:14:51] <TheSpookanist> 4df+7 Rifles at Rolf
[21:14:52] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Rifles at Rolf: 3 (4df+7=-, -, -, -)
[21:15:02] <TheSpookanist> 4df+7 Rifles at Will
[21:15:03] <SpookyBee> … Jesus
[21:15:03] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Rifles at Will: 7 (4df+7=-, +, -, +)
[21:15:25] <TheSpookanist> 4df+8 Melee at Ethel
[21:15:26] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Melee at Ethel: 9 (4df+8=+, 0, 0, 0)
[21:15:31] <TheSpookanist> 4df+8 Melee at Ethel
[21:15:32] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Melee at Ethel: 7 (4df+8=0, 0, -, 0)
[21:15:38] <SpookyBee> 4df+6 Ethel attampts to defend!
[21:15:38] <Glacon> SpookyBee: Ethel attampts to defend!: 5 (4df+6=0, 0, 0, -)
[21:15:44] <SpookyBee> another for attacker #2?
[21:15:50] <TheSpookanist> Aye
[21:16:00] <SpookyBee> 4df+6 Ethel attampts to defend once more!
[21:16:01] <Glacon> SpookyBee: Ethel attampts to defend once more!: 5 (4df+6=-, 0, +, -)
[21:16:06] <SpookyBee> Cruddle
[21:16:55] <TheSpookanist> It could have been worse! Ethel takes slashes as the opposition climb the tank, and then- Strength, Ethel.
[21:16:56] <Soulless> 4df+4 pdef from rifles
[21:16:56] <Glacon> Soulless: pdef from rifles: 2 (4df+4=-, 0, 0, -)
[21:17:08] <TheSpookanist> Rolf's ear is grazed by a stray round.
[21:17:16] <SpookyBee> 4df+5 STR Raaa strength!
[21:17:17] <Glacon> SpookyBee: STR Raaa strength!: 7 (4df+5=+, 0, 0, +)
[21:17:19] <Soulless> He curses and covers his ear.
[21:17:48] <TheSpookanist> 4df+5 The anti-pope looms over Ethel, attempting to simply shove her off the tank.
[21:17:48] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: The anti-pope looms over Ethel, attempting to simply shove her off the tank.: 3 (4df+5=0, -, -, 0)
[21:19:22] <SpookyBee> Ethel remains STRONG!
[21:19:37] <TheRaven> 4dF+6 pdef, sorry, didn't see it
[21:19:38] <Glacon> TheRaven: pdef, sorry, didn't see it: 8 (4dF+6=-, +, +, +)
[21:19:53] <TheSpookanist> Indeed. PC turn. Will is fine.
[21:20:03] <SpookyBee> Though, black goo does splatter as Ethel takes the slashes
[21:21:34] <TheSpookanist> Ethel, it's not too late to go back in the tank.
[21:21:53] <TheRaven> "Get in here and load the cannon!"
[21:22:08] <TheSpookanist> Four opponents and two at range threaten you while you're exposed. This may not have been the best plan.
[21:22:12] <SpookyBee> Ethel does just that!
[21:22:18] <TheSpookanist> Excellent.
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[21:22:38] <SpookyBee> Aaaand she locks the hatch behind her.
[21:23:40] <Soulless> Rolf gets back on the controls and begins to drive the thing, not enough to fuck up Will's aim but enuough to dissuade those atop the tank from doing somthing dumb.
[21:24:34] <TheSpookanist> Forward or backward, Rolf?
[21:25:49] <Soulless> A little forward, a little back.
[21:27:40] <TheSpookanist> Well, that's enough to catch one or two and knock them off - hard to tell with no visual information.
[21:27:52] <TheSpookanist> Ethel can begin loading the gun; does Will do anything?
[21:28:50] <TheRaven> Suppressing fire, trying to keep them off the tank until we can blow up everything
[21:29:55] <TheSpookanist> A fair strategy, yes.
[21:30:04] <TheSpookanist> 4df+5 An attempt
[21:30:06] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: An attempt: 4 (4df+5=0, +, -, -)
[21:30:32] <TheSpookanist> Since Will doesn't really have to aim, he can keep out of the way for now. PC turn again, not much they can do about an Elefant.
[21:31:46] <Soulless> Rolf continues trying to shake people off. "So when do we kill them all?"
[21:32:06] <SpookyBee> "… Pretty soon." Can Ethel fire near-directly upwards at all?
[21:33:52] <TheSpookanist> Not even in the slightest. It's a tank destroyer, not an AA gun.
[21:34:25] <TheSpookanist> To fire on anything, it would have to be in front of the tank.
[21:34:28] <SpookyBee> Shit… Well, she's got another idea. "… I'm gonna fire the gone, see what that does for our passengers."
[21:35:29] <Soulless> "Want me to back up enough to let you aim?"
[21:36:05] <SpookyBee> "I don't have any other ideas… Go ahead!"
[21:40:01] <TheSpookanist> Assuming Rolf Does Thing, the attackers are knocked off the top apparently by the remains of the building, one falling victim to a /crunching noise/ followed by blood dripping through the edges of the hatch. Ethel has a shot!
[21:40:20] <SpookyBee> What's the bonus? +3?
[21:40:38] <Soulless> Rolf doesn't seem to react tot he blood.
[21:41:31] <TheSpookanist> Just roll normal ranged to hit. You're firing an Elefant.
[21:41:50] <SpookyBee> 4df+3 RNG
[21:41:51] <Glacon> SpookyBee: RNG: 4 (4df+3=0, 0, 0, +)
[21:42:38] <TheSpookanist> Aiming just /at them/ or at the bishop?
[21:43:34] <SpookyBee> At the Bishop!
[21:44:47] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4
[21:44:47] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 4 (4df+4=0, 0, 0, 0)
[21:45:28] <TheSpookanist> He leaps away just in time, his two remaining sword-wielding comrades dying a screaming death in the blast, himself heavily injured as the riflement rush to pursue.
[21:46:05] <TheSpookanist> Unless Will wants to try and finish off the Bishop, and Rolf keeps backing the tank up, there's not much they can do about the tank.
[21:46:23] <TheRaven> He's the only one left?
[21:46:38] <SpookyBee> Ethel starts to reload the cannon, if she can!
[21:46:46] <TheSpookanist> The only one in close range, yes.
[21:47:03] <Soulless> "I wonder if I could just try to run him over."
[21:47:38] <TheRaven> "We could try to bring him in alive."
[21:48:25] <SpookyBee> "… That's true."
[21:49:11] <TheSpookanist> He's stumbling and very wounded; it's possible, were the rest of his allies dead, or if they just don't get shot by the riflemen.
[21:49:51] <TheRaven> "Might get a lead on where he found that thing, too." Will pops the hatch and steps out. "Nobody move."
[21:50:35] <TheSpookanist> The bishop takes a staggering lurch toward him, swinging his sword! Agility, Will!
[21:51:15] <TheRaven> 4df+3 stop that
[21:51:16] <Glacon> TheRaven: stop that: 3 (4df+3=0, +, 0, -)
[21:51:23] <Soulless> "Wait, he's alone. I can take him."
[21:51:54] <TheSpookanist> 4df+6
[21:51:55] <Soulless> (Wait is he alone or not)
[21:51:55] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: 4 (4df+6=-, 0, -, 0)
[21:52:10] <TheSpookanist> He's alone, but the riflemen in the back are rushing forth to help him.
[21:52:13] <TheSpookanist> PDef, Will.
[21:52:32] <TheRaven> 4df+6
[21:52:32] <Glacon> TheRaven: 8 (4df+6=+, +, -, +)
[21:53:26] <Soulless> How many riflemen?
[21:53:37] <SpookyBee> Ethel prepares to fire another round at just said riflemen!
[21:53:44] <TheSpookanist> Will takes the hit lightly to some padding, which doesn't seem to do anything… until the padding starts to crackle and burn, without any flame.
[21:53:49] <Soulless> "If you can hit just the riflemen, I'll talk him into these cuffs."
[21:53:53] <TheSpookanist> Ethel can, if she rolls. And two, Rolf.
[21:54:03] <SpookyBee> 4df+3 Pachow!
[21:54:04] <Glacon> SpookyBee: Pachow!: 4 (4df+3=-, +, +, 0)
[21:54:38] <TheRaven> Being on fire isn't an entirely new experience for him, Will quickly sheds the burning layer
[21:54:46] <TheSpookanist> The round goes through the body of one and explodes behind them both, adding their flying bodies to the pile.
[21:54:59] <SpookyBee> "… Gross."
[21:55:07] <TheSpookanist> The anti-pope is all alone.
[21:55:54] <Soulless> Rolf gets out the tank to face anti-pope. Hopefully the mofo speaks English.
[21:56:36] <TheSpookanist> He's still attempting to take a combative stance, but he's so wounded it's hard to stand.
[21:59:30] <Soulless> 4df+7 (bluff) He talks quieter. "I've told my friends you'll be coming quietly, but I'm on your side. I belive in your crusade, and I think together we'll build an army to take Jerusalem, stronger than the world has ever seen. I've amassed a group of elite fighters to back you up- but we're biding our time now. If you come peacefully, we still have a chance. I didn't want it to come to this."
[21:59:30] <Glacon> Soulless: (bluff) He talks quieter. "I've told my friends you'll be coming quietly, but I'm on your side. I belive in your crusade, and I think together we'll build an army to take Jerusalem, stronger than the world has ever seen. I've amassed a group of elite fighters to back you up- but we're biding our time now. If you come peacefully, we still have a chance. I didn't want it to come to this.": 8 (4df+7=-, +, 0, +)
[22:01:49] <TheSpookanist> Rolf can see some glimmer of hope in the man's eyes before they dull. He's listening to someone else, Rolf, not you. He slowly turns to a snarl and swings away!
[22:01:56] <TheSpookanist> 4df+6 Duck, Rolf!
[22:01:57] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: Duck, Rolf!: 8 (4df+6=+, 0, +, 0)
[22:02:12] <Soulless> 4df+2 no agility
[22:02:12] <Glacon> Soulless: no agility: 2 (4df+2=-, 0, +, 0)
[22:02:16] <Soulless> 4df+4 his pdef
[22:02:17] <Glacon> Soulless: his pdef: 3 (4df+4=+, 0, -, -)
[22:02:19] <Soulless> rip
[22:03:04] <TheSpookanist> RIP Rolf, who's slashed across the chest in an impressive display, getting knocked down to 2.5 PHealth.
[22:03:26] <TheSpookanist> In addition, he feels his skin burning, taking 1 in MHealth - but at least the wound is cauterised.
[22:03:50] <TheRaven> 4df+6 "Oh fuck off." Will just goes Indiana Jones and shoots the guy.
[22:03:50] <Glacon> TheRaven: "Oh fuck off." Will just goes Indiana Jones and shoots the guy.: 5 (4df+6=0, -, 0, 0)
[22:04:05] <Soulless> Rolf collapses on his hands and knees, coughing and clutching his wound. He growls and reaches up to try and /tear/ the lantern off the man before passing out.
[22:04:49] Soulless [lluks.ruoy.fo.trofmoc.eht.edisni.teg.ot.stn|w#lluks.ruoy.fo.trofmoc.eht.edisni.teg.ot.stn|w] is now known as Soulless|dreamin
[22:04:59] <TheSpookanist> Well, up to Will and Ethel to decide what to do with this guy now.
[22:05:55] Neutronimobile [~PI.3ABB1AE6.C6D98E01.AE2B428|euheuheuH#PI.3ABB1AE6.C6D98E01.AE2B428|euheuheuH] has joined #homeimprovement
[22:06:29] <SpookyBee> 4df+3 Tear Drinker - Ethel makes one more attempt to use her physic powers to subdue the Pope's mind and pull it away from whatever happens to control it…
[22:06:29] <Glacon> SpookyBee: Tear Drinker - Ethel makes one more attempt to use her physic powers to subdue the Pope's mind and pull it away from whatever happens to control it…: 3 (4df+3=+, -, -, +)
[22:07:31] <TheSpookanist> 4df+4 and they told me the boss didn't need an MDef stat
[22:07:32] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: and they told me the boss didn't need an MDef stat: 5 (4df+4=+, +, 0, -)
[22:08:00] <SpookyBee> Ethel fails! Oh no!
[22:08:30] Positmobile [~PI.D17592E7.8757A1FD.7037075A|euheuheuH#PI.D17592E7.8757A1FD.7037075A|euheuheuH] has quit IRC: Ping timeout: 181 seconds
[22:09:12] <TheSpookanist> WELL it's Will's shot
[22:14:04] <TheSpookanist> 4df+7 pls just critfail
[22:14:05] <Glacon> TheSpookanist: pls just critfail: 8 (4df+7=+, +, 0, -)
[22:14:56] <TheSpookanist> The bishop is in no position to really resist, falling to the ground, riddled with lead and shrapnel as he clutches the lantern.
[22:15:34] <SpookyBee> Ethel climbs up and out of the tank, seating herself on the turret- "… You okay, Will?"
[22:16:06] <TheRaven> "Yeah, I'm good."
[22:16:43] <SpookyBee> She hops off of the tank, and approaches the fallen Bishop, kneeling beside him. "… Are you still alive?"
[22:17:41] <TheSpookanist> He is, reciting verses under his breath in his native tongue.
[22:19:18] <TheSpookanist> The lantern burns still.
[22:19:21] <SpookyBee> Ethel makes a move to reach for the lantern, keeping her eyes on him…
[22:20:30] <TheRaven> "You sure you wanna touch that?"
[22:21:23] <SpookyBee> "No other choice, Will. We've got a wounded team member, and no containment team in sight."
[22:21:41] <TheSpookanist> Ethel touches the lantern?
[22:21:48] <SpookyBee> The chain!
[22:22:40] <TheSpookanist> ~This one has proven too weak,~ a booming voice echoes in her head - a trio of voices, each distinct. ~but you could take up his mantle.~
[22:23:41] <SpookyBee> ~I have bigger fish to fry than a whacked out lamp.~
[22:24:41] <TheSpookanist> ~You do not want to be queen of the Holy Land?~
[22:24:53] <TheSpookanist> ~The city is taken. All you must do is defend it.~
[22:26:16] <SpookyBee> ~I'm not a ruler, responsibility's not my thing…~ Ethel stands up, frowning and looking over to Will. "So… Back in the tank?"
[22:26:42] <TheRaven> "Eh, I don't think we're getting that thing back out. Let's get walking."
[22:27:31] <SpookyBee> "Righto…" She nods, looking at the lantern and heading over to Will. "… It's tryin' to talk into delusions of grandeur."
[22:28:07] <TheRaven> "You got a handle on that? Not gonna try to take over the world or anything, I hope."
[22:28:23] <TheSpookanist> The voice takes on an angry silence, but Ethel feels its presense still.
[22:28:51] <SpookyBee> "I'll be fine. I'm used to dealin' with demanding brats." She shrugs, before heading out!

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