Elrich Royalty

• Vivax Attention Attention would all personnel with a first and last name beginning ending or thinking about the letter Z please report to the "Fun lunch" *
• Vivax Attention Attention would all personnel with a first and last name beginning ending or thinking about the letter Z please report to the "Fun lunch" *
• =-= Roget|Dogtime is now known as Roget
• ihp Susan looks up at the PA and frowns. ~Well… now I'm thinking about the letter Z. And what the hell is a "Fun Lunch~
• ZombieRaptor ~Fun lunch?~
• Vivax Attention Attention, the previous announcement was a plot by plastic bags to cause dissent in the ranks. Please disregard.*
• ihp Susan decides to report to the mess, because where else would a lunch be? Then again, it is 7:00….
• ZombieRaptor Luvi looks around the mess hall ~What…..~
• ZombieRaptor He shrugs and returns to his potatoes.
• Vivax The potatoes glisten with potential. How delicious will they be when they enter your mouth?
• ihp ~Plastic bags? Is… is the Announcer mental?~
• ZombieRaptor Luvi starts eating.
• ihp Susan scratches her head and sighs, entering the mess and making herself some tea. Are we sure this woman is American?
• ihp All she drinks is bloody tea!
• Vivax 4df+4
• Glacon Vivax: 4 (4df+4=+, 0, 0, -)
• ZombieRaptor Luvi takes a sip from his unholy mixture of 20% coffee and 80% creamer.
• Vivax ZombieRaptor: The potatoes are pretty damn good.
• Jabonicus Sam walked into the mess hall, confused about the announcement
• ihp Susan looks at Sam. "…any idea what that was all about?"
• Jabonicus "No idea." He scratched his head. "What the hell does it mean 'thinking about the letter Z?'"
• Vivax The mess hall smells of scalloped potatoes, potatoes au gratin, baked potatoes with cheddar cheese, potato soup, clam chowder and potato chips. French Fries are not avalible.
• Jabonicus "Then again, I could go for potatoes."
• ZombieRaptor "These potatoes are pretty damn good!" Luvi exclaims
• Jabonicus "Then I'll have some." Sam said, getting a plate of baked potatoes.
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• ihp Susan sips at her tea, and sits down at a table. "I think the person doing the PA system just lost it for a second there."
• Vivax You notice that the bread available for sandwiches is potato bread.
• Vivax And the pasta is gnocchi.
• ZombieRaptor "It's possible, this place can wear down a person."
• Jabonicus Sam took a bite, stopping mid-chew. "Where are they getting all these potatoes?"
• ihp Susan looks at the menu as well. "…good f- good god, are we suddenly in Ireland?"
• ihp ~Mustn't swear…~
• Stop Sean's head perks up and he rushes towards the Cafeteria.
• Vivax *Attention, attention. This is a general security alert. All personnel are to avoid consuming meals without potato for at least one month. You do not need to know why. If this poses dietary problems please take all complaints to the Chief of Security. Thank you*
• Stop Stumbling over Sam, he gets a large corned beef sandwich on potato bread and begins to devour it, ignoring the alarm in a rapid frenzy.
• ihp Susan nearly spittakes with her tea. "…what the- WHAT?!"
• Jabonicus "Fine with me." Sam said, continuing to eat the baked potato.
• =-= Vivax has changed the topic to “Of things to come… | | Runs: #homeimprovement | Alt-IC: #tooltime | Ping Roget if he gets distracted by the internet and doesn't respond. | All meals must include potato ~Vivax”
• Stop "Man, this place is heavenly, innit?" Sean mumbles through a full mouth toward Susan.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi sighs and continues eating his potatoes, grimacing as if in physical pain.
• ihp Susan groans. "I hate potatoes. I like fruit! Pineapples, starfruit, kumquats…"
• ihp Susan thinks. "…maybe I could raid that pizza box…"
• Vivax *Attention, Attention, be advised that all meats have been potato-fed. *
• Stop "You can get all the vitals you can get in a fruit in a potato you know. It's in the skin."
• Jabonicus "Is this some memetic effect with poison potatoes or are we actually supposed to eat these?"
• ihp (Memes weren't known back in the 1950s, per the site)
• Jabonicus (FF….)
• ihp Susan heads out of the cafeteria, looking for wherever the PA system is broadcasting from.
• Stop "Where you going? You gunna finish your meal?" Without waiting for a response he begins to eat Susan's leftovers.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi looks over at Sean "Who's the disgusting new guy?"
• Vivax ihp: You run into Wambles in the hallway he's limp-walking somewhere.
• Stop "Hey hey hey. I'm just hungry. Not used to getting food whenever you want yet." Sean shrugs
• ihp Susan looks at Wambles. "I don't believe I've met you… Susan Smith, Staff Psychologist." She extends a hand to him.
• Vivax He shakes!
• Jabonicus Sam looked over at Sean. "It's fine with me. I'm Wallace. Call me Sam."
• ZombieRaptor "….just get more from the line…."
• Vivax "Reed, Wambles. I'm the entire legal department."
• Vivax "Well… on-site anyway"
• Vivax *Attention, attention all fruits on-site have been fertilized with processed potato*
• ihp Susan looks Wambles over. ~War injury, judging by the limp. Possible trau-~ She stares at the intercom. "…oh for the love of fffffreepeople! Where's the PA office?"
• Vivax "Honestly I was lookin' for it."
• ihp "…really? You don't like potatoes either then?"
• ZombieRaptor "This is weird…"
• Jabonicus Sam finished his potatoes, and stood up. "I'm finding that intercom room." He said as he walked off.
• ZombieRaptor "I'll come with you Sam… This all is odd.."
• ZombieRaptor Luvi stands up and joins Sam, finishing his last potato.
• Jabonicus Sam walked down one of the halls, looking into doors and other hallways. "Any clue where it is?"
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• ZombieRaptor "I have no idea."
• Vivax "No, no… all these annoucnements are actually in violation of several non-disclosure agreements"
• Jabonicus "Damn." Sam said, walking through the halls.
• Stop "I might as well congratulate the man responsible for my new all potato diet. Just let me finish!" Sean rushes to finish the last dollops of potato as Sam and Luvi disappear around the corner.
• ihp "…I see. Well then." She smiles at Wambles. "We're off to see the PA person?"
• Vivax "I suppose…"
• Jabonicus Sam continued his path, looking into any doors he could find.
• ihp Susan giggles, humming "We're Off To See the Wizard" to herself and heading off to find the PA office with Wambles.
• Vivax Wambles wonders why she's willing to walk at his pace.
• Vivax And so they wander!
• Vivax Neither one knowing where they are going.
• Stop Sean jogs after Sam.
• Vivax Because the PA office has never been shown to them because HR sucks at its job.
• ZombieRaptor "God. Where is this place."
• Vivax *Attention, attention. Consumption of all other vegetables is now forbidden*
• Jabonicus "Do either of you have a ma- Oh for the love of!" Sam said, stopping. "Yeah, I'm finding this fucker."
• ihp Susan is analyzing him, obviously. ~War veteran, possible trauma mentally, definite trauma physically with that limp. Probably not in the Pacific theater with wounds like that, but could have been blown-~ Susan's thoughts are interrupted again when she hears the PA system. "For the love of…" She makes her way towards the nearest intercom box and presses a button on it.
• ZombieRaptor "What the fuck…."
• Proto_lost Harley looks up from commons, frowning. "Okay, that's fucking it." In a huff, he grabs his coat and hat and storms off to wherever the PA room actually is.
• Stop "So has anyone actually met the voice on the intercom system?"
• Jabonicus "I'm an Engineer, I hardly get enough time to meet the people in the mess hall, much less the intercom people."
• Vivax Everyone roll me 4df!
• Stop 4df
• Glacon Stop: -1 (4df=-, -, 0, +)
• Proto_lost 4df oh man
• Glacon Proto_lost: oh man: -1 (4df=0, 0, 0, -)
• ihp 4df eep
• Glacon ihp: eep: 1 (4df=+, 0, -, +)
• Stop (FUckkkk
• Jabonicus 4df Oh god
• Glacon Jabonicus: Oh god: 0 (4df=0, 0, 0, 0)
• ZombieRaptor 4df
• Glacon ZombieRaptor: -1 (4df=-, 0, 0, 0)
• Vivax All of you who got 0 or negative 1 end up in the hallway containing the "Digester" a giant corpse disposal room that slowly liquifies test animals
• Vivax Ihp: You and Wambles find the PA room. It's locked. There are no windows that you can see through. Blinds are drawn.
• ihp Susan frowns as she tries the door, undoing her hairpin. "Gimme a sec with this." Roll engineering to lockpick?
• Proto_lost "…"
• Stop "W-what happened to those things?"
• Vivax ihp: Go ahead
• Proto_lost Harley takes a very long swig from his sanity flask.
• ZombieRaptor "Fuck, it's like those damn liquified teens I rolled into the other day."
• ihp 4df+3 I forgot I didn't have any points in engineering. Tagging "In between the lines" just to give me a chance.
• Glacon ihp: I forgot I didn't have any points in engineering. Tagging "In between the lines" just to give me a chance.: 1 (4df+3=0, 0, -, -)
• Vivax The lock jams.
• Proto_lost "Liquified what?" He says, turning to the voice. "Oh, it's just you Luvi."
• ihp Susan groans, and tries knocking on the door instead. "Excuse me, sir?"
• Stop "Let me get a swig there." Sean desperately reaches for the flask.
• Vivax *attention, attention, the Royal Cabbage has decreed that potatoes are to be executed*
• Stop "W-what? No!"
• ZombieRaptor Luvi goes over to a nearest intercom.
• Proto_lost Harley jerks the flask away.
• Jabonicus "Yeah, this place is messing with us."
• ihp ~The utter bloody… No matter.~
• ihp Susan knocks on the door to the PA office.
• Proto_lost "Right, so you three fuckers got a better idea than stand here and watch this thing turn people into milkshake?"
• Vivax ihp: You hear somebody say "Go awaaaay. The room is occupied"
• Vivax The voice is gender-neutral.
• Jabonicus Sam was quiet for a moment. "…Smells like Haggus."
• Vivax "Uh… what now Susan?"
• Vivax ZombieRaptor: You reach the nearest intercom station. What do you say?
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• ZombieRaptor «If anyone has found the PA room, please execute the person inside.»
• =-= Roget is now known as Rogbrb
• Vivax ZombieRaptor: mDef please
• ihp 4df+8 (bluff) "Sir, I work with Dr. Zakharov. We have reason to believe your office is… haunted. May we come in to inspect it?"
• Glacon ihp: (bluff) "Sir, I work with Dr. Zakharov. We have reason to believe your office is… haunted. May we come in to inspect it?": 8 (4df+8=0, 0, -, +)
• ZombieRaptor 4df+3
• Glacon ZombieRaptor: 4 (4df+3=+, -, +, 0)
• Proto_lost "Yeah, well it smells like someone shit all over the place. Come on." He starts making his way back to the common room.
• Vivax ZombieRaptor: You are hit with an overwhelming sensation that you should eat meat and potatoes. But you force it out of your mind.
• Stop "Yeah, no use waiting around." Sean follows after Harley
• Jabonicus "Let's head down a different way." Sam said. "We will get there eventually."
• ZombieRaptor Luvi turns in follows Sam.
• Vivax ihp: "The Ghost-o-meter isn't detecting anything. What department did you say you work for?"
• Jabonicus Sam turned right down a hall, wondering around in an attempt to find the comms room.
• Jabonicus wandering
• ihp "Intangant Containment and Research." ~Ghost-o-meter? What?~
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• Vivax People trying to find the PA office give me 4df
• Jabonicus 4df
• Glacon Jabonicus: 1 (4df=-, 0, +, +)
• Vivax ihp: "Oh… um… are you standing on human feet then?"
• Vivax Wambles starts rapping on the door with his cane.
• ZombieRaptor 4df
• Glacon ZombieRaptor: 0 (4df=0, 0, -, +)
• =-= Rogbrb is now known as Roget
• ZombieRaptor (Meh, was following Sam anyhow)
• ihp ~Human feet? What?!~ "I am…" She tries not to loose her cool and just smash the window with her purse or something.
• Vivax Sam you will eventually reach the PA room. You will find Susan and Wambles flustering at the door.
• Vivax "Oh. Um… human feet are not allowed. Sorry"
• Jabonicus "Is this the PA room?" Sam said, walking forward.
• ihp 4df+7 (Persuasion) "Sir, would you please open up this door? If you don't I will have to call security and ask them to open it."
• Glacon ihp: (Persuasion) "Sir, would you please open up this door? If you don't I will have to call security and ask them to open it.": 5 (4df+7=0, -, 0, -)
• Vivax *Attention, attention. The Duke of Lettuce has declared martial law in the Province of the Raccoon Shamans. All Racoon Shamans are to be killed on sight*
• Vivax "Yeah this is the PA room," Wambles smirks.
• Jabonicus Sam walked over, pounding on the door. "Open the door!"
• ihp ~That does it.~ She looks at Sam, and mouths, "Do you know how to open locks?"
• Vivax You all hear from within the room, "Um… We can't our hands are busy. "
• Jabonicus Sam held his hand up, neutral, shaking it to show he could, but he wasn't sure.
• Vivax (wat)
• Jabonicus (It's that thing you know when you're like "Yeah sorta' with your hand,"
• Jabonicus )
• Jabonicus (Just say it's a maybe"
• Jabonicus ()
• ihp Susan nods to the lock on the door; it's jammed, but he may still be able to do something with it.
• Vivax "I don't have any technical skill…" Wambles says.
• ihp Susan is trying to talk to Sam. >.>
• ihp Or indicate it to him, as the case may be.
• Jabonicus Sam bent over to the lock. "I learned something back in France during the war…" Sam said.
• Jabonicus 4df+6
• Glacon Jabonicus: 6 (4df+6=0, 0, 0, 0)
• Vivax Sam you diddle the lock like a lady love and the door, she opens to you.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi pulls out his pistol, not very happy with the people inside. ~I'm going to teach them fear~
• ihp Susan steps into the door, putting her hand in her purse, on her weapon.
• Vivax You see a glass-enclosed office with sound equipment and a switch board.
• Jabonicus Sam held up his rifle.
• Vivax On top of the desk with the PA mike is a basket of vegetables.
• ihp "…what the /fuck/."
• Jabonicus Sam lowered his gun. "Really?"
• ZombieRaptor Luvi walks over to them and picks them up "The fuck?"
• ZombieRaptor "Anyone have some matches?"
• Vivax The basket is lovely, a deep mahogany colored weave alternating with a white wicker weave.
• ihp Susan picks up a cucumber that's presumably in the basket. "…is this a joke?"
• Vivax "We are not startin fires in unsafe areas."
• Vivax The basket contains no cucumber.
• ihp Susan takes up a random vegetable, then.
• Vivax It contains lettuce, broccoli, radishes, and a single portabella mushroom.
• ZombieRaptor "Where can we set it on fire then Wambles?"
• ihp Susan picks up the mushroom. "I hate vegetables. And why would anyone eat a fungus?"
• Vivax "The incinerator."
• Vivax Susan: Mdef
• ihp 4df+3 Never insult mushrooms!
• Glacon ihp: Never insult mushrooms!: 5 (4df+3=+, +, -, +)
• Vivax 4df+6
• Glacon Vivax: 4 (4df+6=0, 0, -, -)
• Vivax Susan: You get a nosebleed and headache but it goes away quickly.
• ihp Susan wipes her nose. "…what on Earth?" She looks at them. "…maybe we should call security about this."
• Jabonicus "Aren't we security?"
• Vivax *Attention, attention. Security please come to the PA room. We have unauthorized access and mushroom fondling. *
• ZombieRaptor Luvi takes the mushroom from Susan and tries to crush it in his hand.
• ZombieRaptor 4df+4 strength
• Glacon ZombieRaptor: strength: 3 (4df+4=-, 0, +, -)
• ihp Susan blinks at the PA, then looks at the basket. "…you are kidding me. You are f- you are /kididng/ me!" She drops the mushroom before Luvi can crush it.
• ZombieRaptor Redact
• Jabonicus "Mushroom fon- There is no way this is the cause for it." He said moving to the PA system.
• ihp Susan tugs on her hair. "…I need to let out a long stream of curse words. Does anyone mind?"
• ZombieRaptor Luvi bends down and puts the mushroom in the basket before picking the whole basket "go ahead Susan."
• ihp "Fuck shit piss cunt fucking fuck fuck buggery fuck fuck /cunts!/ Fuck fuck fuck fuck what the utter /fuck?!/ "
• ZombieRaptor "So, where's the way to the incinerator room?"
• Vivax ZombieRaptor: you fail to crush the mushroom
• Jabonicus "Do it in Scotland and they'll call you a casual."
• Vivax It pushes back
• Vivax ZombieRaptor: Mdef
• ZombieRaptor 4df+3
• Glacon ZombieRaptor: 3 (4df+3=+, 0, -, 0)
• Vivax 4df+6 Psionic mushroom
• Glacon Vivax: Psionic mushroom: 8 (4df+6=+, 0, +, 0)
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• Vivax ZombieRaptor: You fall to the ground. You see a vision of a coronation. A cabbage on a throne. A kingdom of illogical premises.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi clutches his head, the basket hitting the ground and spilling everywhere. "What the ffuuuccckkkkk!!!"
• Vivax Wambles steps out of the room.
• Vivax "Uh… I think ya'll should follow me."
• ZombieRaptor Luvi stumbles to his feet "we need to destroy those fucking things."
• Jabonicus Sam looked over at Luvi. "You okay?"
• ihp Susan steps out of the room as well, looking for an intercom. "Luvi, I believe we are meant to contain these things, not burn them to bits?"
• Vivax ZombieRaptor: You have this splitting headache… you are convinced that a Cabbage should rule America
• ZombieRaptor Luvi begins muttering madly "Cabbages ….. They are the rightful heir to America…. Bow down!"
• Jabonicus Sam lets out a chuckle. "How much have you drunken man?"
• Vivax "Yes," The scattered vegatables say, "Bow down to your rightful rulers"
• ihp "…oh dear lord what the buggery /fuck/!"
• =-= Roget is now known as Roget|Awau
• ihp Susan stares at the vegetables. ~Think think think…~
• ZombieRaptor Luvi falls to his knees "Accept them as your god." He clutches his head.
• Vivax "Return us to our basket serfs!" screams the broccoli.
• ihp Susan looks at the three of them. "Any of you have a firearm?"
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• Jabonicus Sam raised his rifle. "Tell me where to shoot."
• ZombieRaptor Luvi still has his gun in hand, a finger loosely wrapped around the trigger guard.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi begins picking them up an setting them in the basket.
• ihp Susan points at the ceiling, specifically, a sprinkler. "Fastest way to call security we have."
• Vivax "Thank you! You shall be rewarded with a landed title when the rightful king is restored!"
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• Jabonicus Sam raised his gun, aiming it at the sprinkler.
• ihp "The Gunshot alone might not be heard, but the sprinklers activating might get noticed. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a patient to attend to." She walks up to Luvi.
• Jabonicus 4df+4 this is probably useless as a roll
• Glacon Jabonicus: this is probably useless as a roll: 4 (4df+4=0, -, 0, +)
• Vivax *attention, attention All bow before the Cabbage Lords!*
• ZombieRaptor Luvi holds the basket protectively to his chest
• Vivax The bullet strikes the sprinkler!
• ZombieRaptor "Don't hurt the cabbage king!"
• Vivax A torrent of water sprays from the ceiling runing the PA system.
• Stop "What the bloody shite is going on in the PA room?"
• Proto_lost Harley looks up from the common room and sighs. "Fucking hell, I knew those schmucks couldn't hack it."
• Vivax The vegetables coo with pleasure.
• Vivax The fire alarm goes off!
• ihp "Mr. Harkess… please just calm down… I don't want to hurt your vegetable friends." She points at the sprinklers. "See? We gave them water!"
• Stop "Where are we supposed to go for fire? I thought this place was secure!"
• Proto_lost He just sits there as the sprinklers ruin his suit. "..fuck this. You, let's go over there, I have a feeling they're fucking up pretty bad."
• Vivax Proto_Lost: Only the PA room sprinklers are actvie
• Vivax *active
• Proto_lost Ah, either way, Harley decides to head back.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi holds it more tightly to him "Don't touch your lords peasant!"
• Stop "Lead the way I suppose. I've no idea where to go"
• ihp 4df+6 Academics Check (tagging "In Between The Lines")
• Glacon ihp: Academics Check (tagging "In Between The Lines"): 8 (4df+6=+, +, 0, 0)
• Proto_lost roll 4df to see if they make it?
• =-= Roget|Awau is now known as Roget
• Vivax Proto_Lost: Sure
• Proto_lost 4df off to see the wizard
• Glacon Proto_lost: off to see the wizard: 0 (4df=-, +, -, +)
• Vivax Proto_Lost: You wind up at the HR office.
• ihp "Yes, Yes… hail the vegetables, our lords and saviors… to them, I give the tribute of water, and… and of air from my lungs!" Susan breathes in the direction of the vegetables. ~Where the hell is Security?!~
• Stop "W-where are we?"
• Vivax "We vegetables, invested by God with authority over all mankind recognize the offering!"
• Vivax "We thank the puny human female!" Shouts the lettuce.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi slightly lessens his hold on the basket.
• ihp "Though… I'm afraid I'm not worthy to pronounce the name of your kingdom, Sirs. May you speak it for us?" ~Where the hell is security?~
• Vivax "Elrich! The Rightful Kingdom!"
• ZombieRaptor "… All hail Elrich."
• Vivax "Long be it's majesty!"
• Vivax *its
• ihp "Ah, a beautiful place, I've been meaning to visit it for years." She glares at Luvi. "And who are you to speak the name of this magnificent kingdom with a human mouth? Shame!"
• Vivax "Shame!"
• ZombieRaptor Luvi shouts out "I am sorry masters! Have mercy!"
• Vivax "We require appropriate housing!" demands the turnip.
• Jabonicus Sam sat back, shaking his head. "Why did I take this job.."
• Vivax "The Count of Flaffelopia requires a cool room with bright sun!"
• ihp "Perhaps I a… loyal wench-" ~I am going to shoot myself if I have to use that phrase a third time in my life~ "-can provide you with accommodations?"
• ihp ~Seriously, where the buggerfuck is security?! You think they would have responded to the fucking fire alarm!~
• Vivax "We would be most pleased!"
• Vivax "But no pollination! You are unworthy as a mammal"
• Vivax Wambles is…gone, somewhere
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• ihp Susan looks at Luvi. "Mr.Harkess, give me the Basket of Magnificence." ~…And a vegetable just called me ugly. Wonderful.~
• Jabonicus "How about we provide you with soil, sun, and water, oh great and mighty ones…"
• ZombieRaptor Luvi hesitantly hands it over.
• Vivax "Yes human. Soil would be nice. /on the side/ "
• Vivax "We will choose to partake in soil and water as we see fit!"
• ihp Susan takes the basket, and runs out of the room as fast as she effing well can.
• Proto_lost "…Well, based on that door, it looks like the fucking HR office."
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• Jabonicus Sam stood up, following right behind
• ZombieRaptor Luvi stands up and tries to dart after Susan!
• Stop "What's in there? I've never been down this wing of the facility.
• Stop *"
• Proto_lost "You and me both kid, and while I'd love to punch the fucker who filled my room with handbooks, I'd rather get to the PA room."
• ihp Susan looks around for the containment wing, Dr. Regal, or any security detachment whatsoever. ~An elementary school gets police called when the sprinklers go off. But at a clandestine non-governmental organization? Nothing!~
• Stop "Oh… Alright. Let's get going"
• Vivax Proto_Lost: The HR office door opens, "Excuse me Mr. Newclear? Are you here for your appointment?"
• Proto_lost He was about to flick on his radio when the hears the door open. "…Appointment?"
• Vivax Everybody WITH SUSAN ONLY give me perceptions.
• ihp Including Susan herself?
• Stop "Oh hey! Maybe they can tell us where to go after your appointment?"
• Jabonicus 4df+2
• Glacon Jabonicus: -1 (4df+2=0, -, -, -)
• Vivax Proto_Lost: "You've been scheduled to have an appointment in 'Base Professionalism' "
• Proto_lost "…You have got to be shitting me."
• ihp 4df+3 And the vegetables kill us.
• Glacon ihp: And the vegetables kill us.: 3 (4df+3=+, +, -, -)
• ZombieRaptor 4df+4
• Glacon ZombieRaptor: 3 (4df+4=+, -, 0, -)
• Vivax "No I am not 'shitting you' Mr. Newclear. And it seems obvious that you need a course. Why don't you come in…"
• Vivax Ihp and ZombieRaptor: You find the containment wing!
• Stop "Wait! Where's the PA room? Don't leave me!"
• ihp Susan runs up to the nearest containment specialist. "Sir? Sir, may I present you the magnificent royalty of the kingdom that my filthy mammal mouth cannot speak? They are truly an /anomaly/ in this world, but they make it better." Susan winks so hard her other eyeball almost pops.
• Proto_lost "Kid, just go to the common room, it seems this shithead wants a few words."
• Vivax "One more comment like that and your pay will be docked, shipped and given to starving Japanese children"
• Stop "Alright. Good luck with your 'appointment'" Sean starts to walk back to the common room.
• Vivax ihp: "Mmm… yeah? Wut kind of anomaly"
• ZombieRaptor "All hail lord cabbage!"
• Proto_lost "Motherf-…." He bites his tongue and sighs. "Yeah."
• Vivax "Lord Cabbage?"
• ZombieRaptor "Our rightful ruler!"
• Vivax "Uhhh… We got greenhouses?" the bored-looking containment specialist points downhall.
• ihp "These magnificent /talking/ vegetables from the Kingdom of Elrich (forgive me for speaking the name I am not worthy) would like accommodations here. I will tell you more once they are fully /accommodated/."
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• ihp Susan cannot wink any harder. If she did she would be blinking.
• bluesoul ((just verifying lumberjack is keeping up, carry on))
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• Vivax "Oh…uhh right over there. We have a green house for special veggies."
• Vivax Proto_Lost: You receive an hour of professional development in the form of patriotic, educational filmstrips.
• ihp Susan nods, and skitters to the greenhouse, following the vegetables exact directions on their accommodations.
• Daedalus Monday eats a potato in the common room.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi follows!
• Proto_lost Harley curses every human being who willingly worked on those filmstrips.
• Stop "Oh hey there. I don't think we've met. I'm Sean."
• Vivax ihp: The vegetables coo and sigh gratefully.
• =-= ProcyonLotor is now known as ProcyonOut
• ZombieRaptor (When does Luvi snap out of it?)
• ihp Susan nods respectfully to her 'masters', and gets the hell out of the place. "…Okay, seriously, where the fuck was security?"
• Daedalus Monday nods and shakes Sean's hand his mouth still full of potato
• ZombieRaptor Luvi stays with the glorious overlords.
• Vivax The greenhouse shuts.
• Vivax Luvi: You are dismissed from the presence of the vegetables
• Vivax "Leave us! We wish to vegetate!"
• ZombieRaptor Luvi bows and leaves "good day glorious masters!"
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• Jabonicus Sam walked out. "This was stupid."
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• Vivax ihp: You recall that security had been dealing with trespassers on the perimeter.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi follows Susan
• ZombieRaptor (Seriously when can I snap out of this)
• ihp Susan groans. "Wonderful."
• Daedalus "I'm Professor Monday, it's a pleasure to meet you Sean. Would you like a potato?"
• Vivax ZombieRaptor: Maybe the psychiatrist can help you. She's right there.
• ihp Susan goes to report to the relevant people.
• Stop "Aye, I'll grab a couple. One of life's greatest pleasures, a well-cooked potato."
• ihp But not before Talking to Luvi!
• ihp "Mr. Harkess, how are you feeling?"
• Daedalus "True."
• ZombieRaptor "I feel like we are l-loved by our rulers."
• ihp Roll persuasion to snap him out of it?
• Vivax ihp: Give me your psychology + academics
• ihp 4df+7 Psychology + Academics a gogo, baby!
• Glacon ihp: Psychology + Academics a gogo, baby!: 7 (4df+7=0, 0, 0, 0)
• Vivax After several hours of talk therapy you manage to get Luvi to remember that vegetables shouldn't be royalty… they shouldn't even talk.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi clutches his head "What the fuck…. Fucking vegetables…"
• ZombieRaptor "… Fuck fuck fuck."
• ZombieRaptor Luvi stands up "I'm going to burn those fucking things!"
• ihp Susan smiles. "That's better, isn't it?" They're probably sitting in her room, now, with Luvi on her stereotypical psychologist couch. "Mr. Harkess, I wouldn't."
• Vivax They are totally in her office.
• ZombieRaptor "Why?"
• ihp "Because we are meant to /contain/ anomalies, not destroy them. However, confidentially?" She smirks. "I think an assassination attempt would liven things up a bit. But /you/, Mr. Harkess, should stay as far away from them as possible."
• ZombieRaptor "….. At least kill the mushroom?"
• Proto_lost Harley returns to the common room in a foul mood.
• Daedalus "Guten abend, Herr Harley, would you like a potato?"
• Stop Sean waves. "How'd that appointment go? Must've gotten an earful, it's been a while."
• Proto_lost "Fuck potatoes, fuck filmstrips, and fuck HR." He drops into a chair, frowning.
• Vivax Proto_lost: "A *True American Professional* never lets discomfort get in the way of being calm and cool at all times."
• ihp "…I don't think the Foundation would like war with Elrich. Whatever that is."
• Vivax Proto_Lost: "Only a Communist swears when frustrated, do you want to be a Communist?"
• Stop "Y-you alright there mate? Your eyes went blank for a bit."
• Proto_lost He whaps himself upside the head, frowning even more now. "Yeah, I'm fine…stupid fucking brainwash crap."
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• Daedalus "I'd prescribe a valium, if I could."
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• Stop Sean reminds himself to never walk by HR again.
• ZombieRaptor Luvi sits down on one of Susan's chairs and rubs his face "I need a drink, would you like anything from the mess hall Susan?"
• Vivax Proto_Lost: "This is Judy, a fresh-faced young thing from the typist pool. She's engaged to a sailor, serving in our United States Navy! By touching her derriere you violate our freedom and are a Communist and an affront to God"
• ihp "Pineapple, if they have it."
• =-= ProcyonOut is now known as ProcyonLotor
• Proto_lost "Prescribe me a gun I can use to f-….goddammit it happened again." More whaps to the head. "Fucking-…STUPID-….brainwash crap!"
• ZombieRaptor Luvi walks to the mess hall and grabs a beer, some raspberries and 2 pineapples.
• TeslaTornado Serge is in the dining hall, drinking coffee as per the norm.
• Vivax There are fruits among the potato-based foods now.
• ZombieRaptor He returns 5 minutes later, handing her the 2 pineapples and a rather sharp knife.
• ihp Susan grins. "I didn't mean the whole thing, but… thank you!" She takes the knife and carves up the fruits deftly.
• Daedalus "I'm going to get another potato, would either of you like one?"
• Stop "Hey, what was in the room you guys? Why'd the fire alarm go off?"
• ZombieRaptor Luvi sits in the chair and enjoys his raspberries.. Luvi loves raspberries
• ZombieRaptor ~Fuck vegetables, fruits are where it's at~
• Stop "Could you grab me one Yukon Gold potato? You Americans grow em well."
• ZombieRaptor "When did you get yourself an entire office?"
• Proto_lost He drains his sanity flask, shaking his head. "Just get me something with meat in it before I fucking eat a small child."
• Daedalus "Ja." Monday leaves the room and goes into the cafeteria
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• Vivax Proto_Lost: "The cannibal tribes of Papua New Guinea regularly eat children because they are Communistic Pagans. Children are our future, like little Billy here.""
• ihp "…you know what? I'm not entirely sure."
• Stop "W-What are you going on about?"
• Vivax ihp: Weird. It's like it only appeared because it was needed.
• lurkd Ivan is wheeling a large spool of copper wire through the halls using a dolly. *sqeaking*
• ZombieRaptor "This place is odd… I need a vacation sometime soon."
• Daedalus "Good evening Fraulein, and Herr Harkess" Monday bakes a yukon potato and makes a ham sandwich
• ZombieRaptor Luvi and her are in a office Daedalus
• Daedalus redact the than
• Daedalus (take it back then)
• Daedalus Monday takes the sandwich and the potato back to the commons
• ihp "…a vacation? To where?"
• Daedalus "For Sean, a potato…" hands him it "And for Herr Harley, a ham sandwich."
• Stop "Ah bless you. What do you do here?"
• ZombieRaptor "I think going back to Germany would be nice… Visit my surviving brother at the family farm."
• Vivax Proto_Lost: "Ham is our beadrock against a Communist takeover of agriculture. Just eat Ham, the pink meat."
• Daedalus "I am a psychologist, and self proclaimed Chief Moralist."
• Proto_lost He takes the sandwich, wishing his sanity flask never drained. "He's also head pansy, but he's alright in my book."
• Stop "Oh a psychologist! I met one of those once. Never met a moralizer though. Do you do a lot of moralizing?"
• Daedalus "Or, at least, I used to teach psychology. I only treated patients during the great war."
• Daedalus Monday laughs "Only to balance out the violence enacted by Herr Harkess."
• Vivax Proto_Lost: "Panseies are a fine *American* flower that mom and apple pie need to make the house American! Vote! Vote and deny minorities their right to vote"
• Proto_lost "I did notice ol' Sandwich Kraut getting a little violent lately."
• Stop "Oh you krouts gave those tommies a kicking! Good on ya!"
• lurkd Ivan drops off the spool at the labe and enters the cafeteria for toast nourishment.
• ZombieRaptor Harley still feels a little pain from that swift kick to the gut from the Kraut.
• Stop (*Kraut)
• Daedalus "I would prescribe him several antipsycotic medicines and a heavy, /heavy/ dose of Valium."
• Stop (*krauts rather)
• TeslaTornado Serge nods quietly at Ivan.
• ihp "…Germany's not very good at the moment, I hear. Isn't the country a little… bisected at the moment?"
• lurkd Ivan decides to wrap some toast in a napkin and eat in the commons room. Highly irregular.
• Proto_lost "Heh, I'd prescribe him a knuckle sandwich if he didn't prove so fucking resistant to it."
• ZombieRaptor Luvi sighs "It is…. The farm is in western Germany however."
• lurkd He sits and claims a seat and ashtray by the window as he unwinds from work a bit.
• ihp "That's good. Nowhere near the Soviets, I hope."
• Vivax Proto_Lost: "Prescription sandwiches have been used by pharmacists for generations. Notably they have been replaced by prescription soda fountains and sock-hops that all the youths frequent these days. A teaspoon of rootbeer keeps the devil music out of your children. Buy American."
• Proto_lost "Oh what the fuck."
• lurkd Who is in the commons room with Ivan?
• Daedalus "Good evening, Herr Zakharov."
• ZombieRaptor "I remember fighting in Russia with the 11th panzer division at Kiev, they were ruthless, not afraid to fight with every spare brick and rock."
• Proto_lost Harley, who has just undergone brainwashing from 50's edutainment vids
• lurkd He nods. "Professor Monday… how is your evening?"
• Proto_lost "Evening Commie."
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• ihp "To be fair, your country did break a non-aggression pact. From what I hear at any rate."
• Daedalus "Fine, though I'm surprised I haven't heard Herr Harkess shoot anything yet."
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• Vivax Proto_Lost: "Communists of the Evening, or Courtesans or Prostitutes rob our brave young men of virility when overseas. Keep America Fertile. Don't sleep with a Communist."