Eat Better

[00:00:06] <gumbal1> (spybugs)
[00:00:09] <gumbal1> (but fine)
[00:00:20] <ZombieRaptor> She kills and eats them.
[00:01:28] * BusyFiend has joined #origins-ic
[00:02:47] * BusyFiend is now known as ShotgunFiend
[00:04:03] <Sirgoldfish> Who is in the Common?
[00:04:20] <Optimal> Freddy is!!!
[00:04:21] <gumbal1> A spider in the corner, messily devouring a jumping spider
[00:04:31] <gumbal1> Danuielle walks into the commons
[00:06:19] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi is now awake n stuff
[00:06:36] <Nemi> Lis bumbles into the commons and sleepily takes a seat by the window-that-is-actually-glass-over-a-photograph.
[00:07:03] <ihp> Jacob walks into the commons, extinguishing a cigarette as he does so.
[00:07:08] <Sirgoldfish> (Okay I am ready)
[00:07:23] <Optimal> Fred beats on his drums a sick metal rhythm, decades before it's a thing.
[00:07:48] <Optimal> After his Foundation career, Fred goes on to invent metal.
[00:08:57] <Sirgoldfish> A awfully cheery voice comes from the intercom. "Hello this a reminder to all staff to eat healthy every single day!!!!"
[00:09:07] <Sirgoldfish> mdef everyone.
[00:09:14] <ZombieRaptor> 4df+4
[00:09:15] <Glacon> ZombieRaptor: 5 (4df+4=3+, 3+, 4-, 0)
[00:09:42] <gumbal1> 4df+4 goddamn vegetable overlords
[00:09:42] <Glacon> gumbal1: goddamn vegetable overlords: 3 (4df+4=3+, 4-, 0, 4-)
[00:09:51] <Optimal> 4df+6
[00:09:51] <Glacon> Optimal: 8 (4df+6=4-, 3+, 3+, 3+)
[00:09:55] <ihp> 4df+4 oh lord now what.
[00:09:55] <Glacon> ihp: oh lord now what.: 3 (4df+4=4-, 0, 0, 0)
[00:10:00] <ZombieRaptor> The raspberry in there is immune.
[00:10:20] <gumbal1> spybugs don't care
[00:11:01] <Sirgoldfish> Dan and jacob you are overcome a massive hunger! You need to eat now!
[00:11:09] <Sirgoldfish> *by a
[00:11:15] <ihp> Jacob frowns. "…anyone got any snacks?"
[00:11:18] <gumbal1> Danielle gets up and goes to the cafeteria
[00:11:38] <ihp> He follows Danielle to the cafeteria. "…I don't like the look of this."
[00:11:39] <Sirgoldfish> Like you need to eat an entire turkey.
[00:11:42] <Optimal> Fred looks up from drums. "Uh… no."
[00:11:56] <Optimal> "Dan had some ice cream in his room though…"
[00:12:51] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi shrugs and follows them, he's walking now… Still really painful but he can manage now.
[00:13:07] <Optimal> Frederick follows.
[00:13:40] <Nemi> 4df+4 mdef
[00:13:40] <Glacon> Nemi: mdef: 5 (4df+4=3+, 3+, 4-, 0)
[00:13:45] <Sirgoldfish> Every one precp
[00:13:51] <Nemi> 4df+8 per
[00:13:51] <Glacon> Nemi: per: 6 (4df+8=4-, 0, 0, 4-)
[00:13:51] <Sirgoldfish> Lis is fine.
[00:13:54] <Optimal> 4df+6
[00:13:55] <Glacon> Optimal: 6 (4df+6=0, 0, 0, 0)
[00:14:03] <Nemi> Lis is never hungry anyway. She peers, bafled, as people wander out.
[00:15:05] <Sirgoldfish> You hear a wet slapping noise.
[00:15:47] <Nemi> Lis burrows her brows. Wet slapping like… lips?
[00:16:11] <Optimal> …Just in time to hear the wet slapping.
[00:16:24] <Sirgoldfish> A man made out of butter enters the Common.
[00:16:30] <Sirgoldfish> "He looks upset."
[00:16:36] <Sirgoldfish> ignore quotes
[00:17:06] <Optimal> "…And you must be Ms. Butterworth's husband?"
[00:17:19] <Nemi> Lis looks at the butterman. "Hi." She's confused. It shows.
[00:17:45] <DrSavage> "What is this?"
[00:18:04] <Sirgoldfish> He makes several gestures.
[00:18:11] <Sirgoldfish> academics
[00:18:31] <Optimal> 4df+4 Knowledgeable fucker.
[00:18:32] <Glacon> Optimal: Knowledgeable fucker.: 4 (4df+4=0, 0, 0, 0)
[00:18:50] <Optimal> (That's the second time. O_O)
[00:18:53] <Nemi> 4df+6 I know things sometimes
[00:18:53] <Glacon> Nemi: I know things sometimes: 3 (4df+6=0, 4-, 4-, 4-)
[00:18:56] <Nemi> BUT NOT NOW
[00:19:57] <Sirgoldfish> Fred some who knows that this is american sign languages.
[00:20:22] <Sirgoldfish> He can make out some things. "Help."
[00:20:33] <Optimal> "Wait, he's… signing."
[00:20:46] <Optimal> "He saying help."
[00:20:57] <Sirgoldfish> precp
[00:21:11] <Optimal> 4df+6
[00:21:12] <Glacon> Optimal: 8 (4df+6=0, 0, 3+, 3+)
[00:21:32] <DrSavage> 4df+7 Acute senses
[00:21:32] <Glacon> DrSavage: Acute senses: 8 (4df+7=3+, 4-, 0, 3+)
[00:21:49] <Nemi> Lis is just -staring-. She doesn't know what to think. Or do. She doesn't even like butter.
[00:22:07] <Sirgoldfish> More wet slapping is heard.
[00:22:29] <Sirgoldfish> A meat man enters
[00:22:40] <DrSavage> Randall signs back. "[Help how]?"
[00:22:58] <Optimal> Fred turns to the other guys. "Please tell me I'm dreaming…"
[00:23:11] <Sirgoldfish> The butter man is signing "Help, I can not talk, and your eating habits need to change

MEANWHILE….

[00:12:08] <gumbal1> Danielle enters the cafeteria
[00:12:31] <Sirgoldfish> There are two men there. One is made of various fruits and the other is made of beans.
[00:12:39] <ihp> Jacob grumbles, rubbing his stomach. "…Miss Levine, are you hungry as well?"
[00:12:50] <gumbal1> She goes to geta plate of turkey, before stopping to look at the men.
[00:12:58] <gumbal1> "Yes."
[00:13:06] <ihp> Jacob stares at the men. "No. I absolutely… I absolutely refuse."
[00:13:23] <Optimal> Fred arrives, wondering what the hell their problem is.
[00:13:28] <ihp> Jacob heads over to the intercom.
[00:13:29] <Sirgoldfish> beans "Hello there we have seen this place is of poor health."
[00:13:30] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi enters.
[00:13:41] <ZombieRaptor> "Oh hell…"
[00:13:59] <gumbal1> Danielle blinks. "Of course it is. We've recently had a bug infestation."
[00:14:16] <ZombieRaptor> "Both of you leave before I make you or shoot you…. Too many fruit related things here already."
[00:14:19] <Sirgoldfish> "No you guys are not eating the right thing!"
[00:14:35] <Sirgoldfish> "Look at that german feller right there he has the right idea."
[00:14:39] <ihp> Jacob presses the intercom. "Security? There's sapient food in the cafeteria."
[00:14:52] <Optimal> "Are you guys the anomalous health inspectors or something?"
[00:15:33] <gumbal1> "Are you perhaps related to the 'royal vegetables' in containment?"
[00:15:33] <Sirgoldfish> The whole security force is eating.
[00:15:43] <Sirgoldfish> it looks real yummy.
[00:15:57] <Optimal> Frederick decides fuck it and walks back to the commons.
[00:16:03] <ihp> Jacob just goes :| at the security force.
[00:16:08] <Sirgoldfish> "Vegetables are a healthy snack."
[00:16:13] <gumbal1> Danielle takes a bite out of the turkey.
[00:16:40] <gumbal1> "Well, apparently wwe have sapient ones in containment, I hear."
[00:16:53] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi still has his spray can from earlier.
[00:17:06] <ZombieRaptor> "You want me to torch them Jake?" He holds it up.
[00:17:21] <Sirgoldfish> The man made of beans attempts to escape to the Common.
[00:17:24] <Sirgoldfish> precp
[00:17:28] <ihp> Jacob looks at Luvi. "…for once? Brute force may be the correct answer here."
[00:17:29] <ihp> 4df+4
[00:17:30] <Glacon> ihp: 4 (4df+4=4-, 3+, 4-, 3+)
[00:17:33] <ZombieRaptor> 4df+5
[00:17:33] <Glacon> ZombieRaptor: 6 (4df+5=3+, 4-, 3+, 0)
[00:17:38] <gumbal1> 4df+4 wha
[00:17:38] <Glacon> gumbal1: wha: 5 (4df+4=3+, 4-, 3+, 0)
[00:18:01] <ZombieRaptor> "It actually usually is… First time I held off made this happen." Luvi gestures to his bandages.
[00:18:32] <Sirgoldfish> Luvi notices the bean man booking it.
[00:18:41] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi grabs it!
[00:18:45] <ZombieRaptor> Melee?
[00:18:49] <Sirgoldfish> agili
[00:18:54] <ZombieRaptor> 4df+4
[00:18:54] <Glacon> ZombieRaptor: 4 (4df+4=4-, 3+, 4-, 3+)
[00:18:59] <Sirgoldfish> 4df+4
[00:18:59] <Glacon> Sirgoldfish: 7 (4df+4=3+, 3+, 0, 3+)
[00:19:09] <ZombieRaptor> (Well shit)
[00:19:09] <Sirgoldfish> he escapes Luvi.
[00:19:17] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi runs after it!
[00:19:22] <ZombieRaptor> Can he torch it,
[00:19:33] <Sirgoldfish> The man made out of fruit is preaching about healthy eating.
[00:19:41] <gumbal1> A fly lands on fruitman
[00:19:55] <ihp> Jacob walks up to the fruitman and frowns. "…do I have to fetch the admin?'
[00:20:00] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi pulls out his lighter.
[00:20:12] <ZombieRaptor> Can he try to torch the bean man he's running after?
[00:20:43] <Sirgoldfish> agili.
[00:20:49] <ZombieRaptor> 4df+4
[00:20:49] <Glacon> ZombieRaptor: 5 (4df+4=4-, 0, 3+, 3+)
[00:21:05] <Sirgoldfish> 4df+5
[00:21:06] <Glacon> Sirgoldfish: 6 (4df+5=3+, 4-, 3+, 0)
[00:21:12] <gumbal1> Danielle goes to pick up fruitman and carry him to Regal
[00:21:14] <Sirgoldfish> The man escapes.
[00:21:21] <ZombieRaptor> Escapes where?
[00:21:27] <Sirgoldfish> Dan roll strength,
[00:21:35] <Sirgoldfish> He is heading to the Common.
[00:21:41] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi keeps running..
[00:21:45] <gumbal1> 4df+2 Damnit Jim I'm a spy, not a wrestler!
[00:21:45] <Glacon> gumbal1: Damnit Jim I'm a spy, not a wrestler!: 1 (4df+2=4-, 0, 4-, 3+)
[00:21:54] <ZombieRaptor> "Fucking bean fuck, outpacing me."
[00:22:14] <gumbal1> "Help me take him to Regal."
[00:22:28] <ihp> 4df+7 Jacob takes out his candlestick and tries to whap the fruit-man over the head. (Tagging improvise, just trying to knock him out.)
[00:22:28] <Glacon> ihp: Jacob takes out his candlestick and tries to whap the fruit-man over the head. (Tagging improvise, just trying to knock him out.): 4 (4df+7=4-, 4-, 4-, 0)
[00:23:39] <Sirgoldfish> The fruit man run to the Common.
[00:24:34] <ihp> Jacob just goes :| and looks at the security force. "…I'm going to tell HR about this."
[00:24:40] <gumbal1> Danielle just sighs and goes to her room after she finishes her turnkey. "Fuck this shit, it's too late in the day."
[00:25:05] <ZombieRaptor> Kendall is already there. "We already know Jacob." She sighs.
[00:25:18] <Sirgoldfish> Jacob takes a sizable chunk out of the fruit.
[00:25:44] <ihp> Jacob nods at Kendall. "Well, tell them to do their jobs!" Jacob runs after the fruit man.
[00:26:00] <ZombieRaptor> "They're in a trance…"
[00:26:04] <Sirgoldfish> agili
[00:26:16] <ihp> Agility to me?
[00:26:31] <Sirgoldfish> To people chasing the fruit.
[00:26:36] <ihp> 4df+3
[00:26:40] <ihp> …
[00:26:42] <ihp> 4df+3
[00:26:43] <Glacon> ihp: 3 (4df+3=3+, 3+, 4-, 4-)
[00:27:10] <Sirgoldfish> 4df+3
[00:27:10] <Glacon> Sirgoldfish: 6 (4df+3=0, 3+, 3+, 3+)
[00:27:29] <Sirgoldfish> Maybe you two should have went to gym he enters the Common.

They all *MEAT* (see what I did there?) for the final showdown

[00:23:36] <ZombieRaptor> Does Luvi and bean guy enter?
[00:23:42] <Optimal> Fred turns back to the two food people. "…Why?"
[00:23:45] * Rheumatism has joined #origins-ic
[00:24:02] <Nemi> "What is even…"
[00:24:02] <Sirgoldfish> Yes
[00:24:23] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi torches the bastard. "Fucker."
[00:24:30] <Sirgoldfish> "Did you know the hamberger was invented in 1906
[00:24:37] <ZombieRaptor> 4df+6 FWOOSH
[00:24:38] <Glacon> ZombieRaptor: FWOOSH: 6 (4df+6=4-, 4-, 3+, 3+)
[00:25:17] * rumetzen has quit (Ping timeout: 181 seconds)
[00:25:27] <DrSavage> "[I eat just fine. What needs to change?]"
[00:25:31] <Optimal> Frederick looks over at Luvi burning his dream friends. "Wha— WHAT THE HELL?"
[00:25:39] <ZombieRaptor> Burning the bean man
[00:25:49] <Nemi> "I don't eat at all!" Lis says, suddenly!
[00:25:53] <Sirgoldfish> The torched part of the beans fall out.
[00:25:57] <Optimal> (Oh. Less what the hell then.)
[00:26:31] <Optimal> "What about it butterman?"
[00:26:57] <Sirgoldfish> He signs you need to change
[00:27:13] <Nemi> Lis folds her arms, scowling!
[00:27:23] <Optimal> (To Randall?)
[00:27:33] <Nemi> At the butterman.
[00:27:47] <Optimal> (No, the butterman to Randal?)
[00:28:02] <Sirgoldfish> The fruit man enters the Common.
[00:28:08] <Sirgoldfish> "Brothers!"
[00:28:45] <Optimal> ~More food people?~
[00:28:53] <Sirgoldfish> They all climb on top of each other in a rough pyramid.
[00:28:57] <Optimal> "Hello."
[00:29:00] <Sirgoldfish> PRECP
[00:29:05] <Optimal> 4df+6
[00:29:05] <Glacon> Optimal: 4 (4df+6=0, 4-, 0, 4-)
[00:29:16] <ZombieRaptor> "Goddamnit."
[00:29:22] <ZombieRaptor> "Let me torch them Fred."
[00:29:25] <ZombieRaptor> 4df+5
[00:29:26] <Glacon> ZombieRaptor: 4 (4df+5=3+, 4-, 4-, 0)
[00:29:29] <Optimal> "Wait."
[00:29:36] * Atcero has joined #origins-ic
[00:29:40] <Optimal> "I wanna hear what they have to say."
[00:29:45] <Nemi> Lis gasps. "The food pyramid!"
[00:29:56] <Optimal> Fred whispers. "Then you can torch them."
[00:30:04] <Atcero> Zoe puts down the book and heads to the commons with Culter
[00:30:09] <Sirgoldfish> You guys do not remember the bulletin board talking about healthy eating.
[00:30:25] <Sirgoldfish> And the fucking desk is becoming butter.
[00:30:37] <Sirgoldfish> Lis strength or melee
[00:30:55] * lurkd has quit (Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client)
[00:30:56] <Nemi> 4df+0 uh
[00:30:57] <Glacon> Nemi: uh: -3 (4df+0=4-, 4-, 4-, 0)
[00:31:02] <Atcero> Zoe enters the commons? What is going on!
[00:31:17] <gumbal1> Danielle enters her room and goes to sleep.
[00:31:17] <Sirgoldfish> The pyramid stays strong.
[00:31:31] <ZombieRaptor> Luvi pushes it over
[00:31:35] <Optimal> Food people! A fruit guy, a butter guy, and a meat guy/
[00:31:36] <ZombieRaptor> 4df+9
[00:31:36] <Glacon> ZombieRaptor: 8 (4df+9=0, 4-, 4-, 3+)
[00:31:51] <Atcero> In the commons? Food people?
[00:31:57] <Optimal> Yus/
[00:31:57] <Sirgoldfish> 4df+7
[00:31:57] <Glacon> Sirgoldfish: 5 (4df+7=4-, 3+, 4-, 4-)
[00:32:03] <Nemi> Lis is confused. She wasn't trying to push anything!
[00:32:07] <ZombieRaptor> "Get out food bastards."
[00:32:11] <Sirgoldfish> The tower collapses.
[00:32:38] <Atcero> Zoe is just looking around, confused with a hedgehog poking out of her hands
[00:32:43] <Sirgoldfish> "WE WERE SERVING AMERICA'S DUTY TO EAT HEALTHY" they all cry
[00:32:55] <ZombieRaptor> "Yea, we don't care."
[00:33:02] <ZombieRaptor> "Get out before I burn or melt you."
[00:33:03] <Optimal> "Where did you come from?!?"
[00:33:15] <Sirgoldfish> A meat paddy comes out of the meat man.
[00:33:24] <Optimal> "Dammit Luvi, I want to hear their story."
[00:33:28] <Nemi> Lis just looks hopelessly confused.
[00:33:39] <Sirgoldfish> They are trying to reform the tower.
[00:33:56] <ZombieRaptor> "Stop."
[00:34:00] <DrSavage> "[I eat from every part every day.]"
[00:34:03] <ZombieRaptor> "I will push you over again."
[00:34:55] <Sirgoldfish> A small security force comes in to take them away.
[00:35:26] <Sirgoldfish> The meat man cries "Eat beef! It is a great source of protein!."
[00:35:37] <Sirgoldfish> They are all taken away.
[00:35:43] <Atcero> Zoe watches, immensely confused now. Culter makes a couple of huffing noises
[00:35:45] <Optimal> "Will do beef man."
[00:36:16] <Optimal> Fred turns to the rest of the commons. "The hell was all that about?"
[00:36:24] <Sirgoldfish> The table is now half butter.
[00:36:32] <Nemi> "I.. don't understand." Says Lis.
[00:36:46] <Sirgoldfish> All objects on the TV are fruit.
[00:36:49] <Optimal> "And what's wrong with that table?"
[00:36:57] <Sirgoldfish> The TV it self is normal.
[00:37:11] <Riemann> The real question you all should be asking is… "Where's the beef!?"
[00:37:21] <Atcero> "I have no idea…" Zoe says, now preoccupied with Culter who is trying to escape her hands
[00:37:33] <Optimal> "Get the fuck out of here Hill."
[00:37:36] <Optimal> (redact)
[00:37:38] <ZombieRaptor> Marge mews at cutler
[00:37:39] <Atcero> Oh, Zoe has a hedgehog now, which is the name of Culter
[00:37:44] <Atcero> has*
[00:37:49] <Sirgoldfish> Dan enters the Common unaware of the mess.
[00:38:02] <Sirgoldfish> He reads a book.
[00:38:10] <Atcero> Culter looks at Marge, then stops trying to escape and sits in Zoes hand
[00:38:40] <Sirgoldfish> "Ummm… I don't remember Cthulhu talking about the importance of eating beans!"
[00:39:07] <Optimal> "What are you talking about Dan?"
[00:39:09] <ZombieRaptor> Marge mews. 'Hello!'
[00:39:18] <DrSavage> Randall pets the kitty.
[00:39:38] <ZombieRaptor> Marge keeps looking at Culter
[00:39:44] <Sirgoldfish> Fred: all reading material is talking about healthy eating.
[00:39:53] <Atcero> 'H-hi' Culter huffs back
[00:40:07] <ZombieRaptor> 'Who're you?'
[00:40:22] <Optimal> "Wait. This can't be good."
[00:40:29] <Atcero> 'I'm Culter'
[00:40:31] <Optimal> Frederick looks around frantically.
[00:40:47] <Optimal> Where are the official documents stored?
[00:40:54] <Sirgoldfish> The posters are all about random meat facts.
[00:40:57] <Optimal> Containment?
[00:41:05] <Nemi> Liiiis… rises, and bobbles back to her room, trying to forget what just happened.
[00:41:20] <ZombieRaptor> 'Im Marge!'
[00:41:21] <Sirgoldfish> It only is effecting the common.
[00:41:45] <Optimal> Fred doesn't knoooow this though.
[00:42:05] <Sirgoldfish> The TV flickers on and says "THIS WAS A MESSAGE BY THE NATIONAL HEALTH ASSOCIATION."
[00:42:39] <Atcero> Zoe sits down and puts Culter in her lap. Culter hops off and explores the couch
[00:43:39] <ZombieRaptor> Marge jumps up and sniffs at cutler
[00:43:43] <ZombieRaptor> Culter
[00:44:28] <Atcero> He backs off a little, but stands his ground. He curls up a little
[00:44:40] <Optimal> Frederick goes over and shuts the television off.
[00:45:11] <Optimal> "I'll eat whatever I want to eat dammit."
[00:45:25] <Atcero> 'Are… Are you going to eat me?'
[00:46:29] <ZombieRaptor> Marge sniffs over him.
[00:46:53] <Atcero> He curls up a little more, almost into a ball
[00:47:32] <ZombieRaptor> 'No'
[00:47:40] <gumbal1> A fly lands on the tv
[00:48:03] <Optimal> "… Fuck you fly."
[00:48:04] <Atcero> He uncurls 'You, you aren't?'
[00:48:25] <Atcero> Zoe is watching Marge a little closely
[00:48:29] <ZombieRaptor> 'Why would I? You're too prickly' She pokes him with a paw.
[00:48:34] <gumbal1> The tv suddenly shows images of beans and fruit being eaten by bugs
[00:49:29] <Atcero> 'I… I suppose I am' he says. His spines were up, but now he lays them flatter
[00:50:15] <Optimal> Frederick turns the tv back off like it was in the first place.
[00:50:27] <gumbal1> "Remember to all ways leave out your food for the flies. But never dress up as animal food, for people will be able to look through your HAY GUISE!"
[00:50:39] <Atcero> "Oh hell no!"

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