Upton Hartell

Basic Info:


Position: "Benefactor"/Financial Backer

Demeanor: Sleazy to the core. He'll often ask people to do his dirty work for him.

Nature: Vile, Vile, Vile. Imagine the worst parts of Henry Ford and J.D. Rockefeller, but with the ambition of neither.

Description: An absolute porker of a man, 250 pounds, with a black handlebar mustache and slicked-back hair, trying to look 'handsome'. He's always wearing a black, specially-tailored business suit, and he smells of fresh money. Ew.


You have 36 points to distribute among Basic and Pseudo-Specialty Skills. Please follow the guidelines on the Game Mechanics page. Erase any skills you have no points in.

  • Physical Health: 7
  • Mental Health: 7
Basic Skills
  • Physical Defense: 2
  • Mental Defense: 3
  • Perception: 3
  • Agility: 2
  • Strength: 3
  • Persuasion: 6 (Sleazeball 31)
  • Bluff: 6 (Salesman 32.)
Pseudo-Specialty Skills
  • Melee: 3
  • Ranged: 2
  • Survival:
  • Sneak: 3
  • Academics: 3
Specialty Skills:

You have twelve points to distribute among as many or as few specialty skills as you see fit (but at least three is almost always warranted). Remember to explain what each specialty entails.

  • Money Talks: 4. Upton always carries around plenty of cash with him, and as a result, he's prone to bribing people into doing what he wants. He has four $20 bills and four $5 bills on him, and this skill adds +1 point to persuasion and bluff checks for every $25 used, rounded down for any amounts that are not multiples of 25. The full +4 applies if he's attempting to bribe someone with something of higher monetary value, such as a diamond, a gold bar, a large check, or a land deed.
  • Unknown Famous Face: 5. Upton hid in various cities around Mexico and the Southern US for a few years after an incident there, and as a result, he has gotten somewhat skilled at blending into crowd and pretending he's not who people say he is. (+3 to sneak; it just says 5 because I needed to spend all 12 points)
  • Magnetic Magnate (Anomalous): 3. Due to an incident in Mexico, a piece of metal was embedded in Upton's brain, causing his body's electromagnetic field to intensify and wig out. Metal is now randomly attracted or repelled to and from him, so long as it's ferrous, and his body can act as either a North- or South-Pole magnet, which can interfere with electronics, even in the 1950s. Bottom line, don't let him near anything metal. (roll 4df+0; positive results attract metal, negative results repel it, 0 results do nothing)


List everything your character carries on their person here. Be reasonable.

  • A wooden baseball bat; pretty much the only thing he can use due to his magnetic personality.
  • A wallet with exactly 100 dollars in it in 20s and 5s
  • A checkbook for any other purchases
  • A Charga-Plate and Diner's Club Charge Card; the latter is in a makeshift Faraday pouch.

And everything that they keep in their room at Site 19. Anything that's not listed here or in the section above will be difficult for the character to retrieve.

  • A razor made of plastic, manufactured by his company specifically for him. Called the "Upton Special".
  • A few dozen advertisements and fliers for products that Hartell Chemicals manufactures, including ELECTRO-MEAL!TM Protein Bars, Victory MealTM Surplus Rations, Gaia GrowTM Fertilizer, Out Darn Spot! CleanerTM, NoRustTM Stainless Steel cookware, and Bugger It!TM Pesticide Spray. Also some utility products such as Insta-Cook PowderTM: "Cook Meat Instantly! Just Sprinkle Powder and wait 30 seconds!"
  • No less than seven telephones, specially built to resist his magnetic field.
  • A Faraday cage issued to him by the Foundation.

Personal History:

Upton Hartell inherited the Hartell Chemical Company from his father, and has since spent his life driving it into the ground. While having a certain natural, if incredibly slimy, charisma, he found that he would profit more from poor business practices by exploiting loopholes in the financial system than from running his business well. From investing in the burgeoning National Advisory Committee on Aeronautics in the hopes that space travel could be achieved to supporting Japan even after Pearl Harbor happened for the sake of profit, Upton Hartell has had many things said about him, such as:

"Upton Hartell is, without a doubt, the Worst Businessman in America" President Franklin Delano Roosevelt in 1940, after discussing economic policy with him over the phone.

"No matter how bad my rep is, it ain't nowhere near as bad as Hartell's."- Mickey Cohen, noted Los Angeles 'businessman', after having dinner with Upton Hartell in 1942.

"Upton Hartell's business practices make him a clear and present threat to National Security."- Allen Dulles, director of the CIA.

After WWII started, due to the USA cracking down on 'Un-American Activities", Upton moved the Hartell Chemical Company's entire operation to Mexico, partly because of lax laws, partly because the labor was cheaper, and mostly because the USA couldn't get to him. In Mexico, however, he was forced to learn how to lie in Spanish, but found that the universal language of money worked in his favor at eluding federal safety inspectors, even in Mexico.

However, Upton's corrupt practices did not go unnoticed by an Organized Crime Syndicate in Mexico, who proceeded to set fire to his factory, partly because he was encroaching on their turf, partly because his practices had gotten the son of one of the Syndicate members killed in an industrial accident. So, Upton did the only reasonable thing: he faked his death and ran around Mexico for a few years, taking on different identities until he was finally caught by the Syndicate in 1953.

They attempted to execute him at the site where his factory used to be, but they forgot to double-tap. So, he woke up several hours later with a bullet in his head, amnesia, and another thing: an increased magnetic field that interfered with the equipment in the hospital he had been brought to. The Foundation found out about him, and put him in containment, but, as they say, money talks.

Upton was willing to make a trade: his company and 25% of its not-too-meager stock would be transferred to the Foundation, and he would become a benefactor to them. However, to make sure this was a sound investment, he has requested to be brought on missions for observation purposes.


Here's a list of things Upton hates:

  1. Jews
  2. Blacks
  3. Homosexuals
  4. Italians
  5. Russians
  6. Germans
  7. The Chinese
  8. The Japanese
  9. Koreans
  10. The Mafia (any Mafia)
  11. Taxes
  12. The US Government
  13. The Russian Government
  14. The German Government
  15. The Government of the United Kingdom
  16. Women who try to act liberated
  17. Women who are liberated
  18. Losing money
  19. Not making money
  20. The Bible (particularly the part where it talks about "Thou Shalt Not Hoard/Squander")
  21. His anomaly
  22. Anything made out of iron

Languages: English and (very) Broken Spanish.

XP: 2

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